Ranting Cycle Bores

Hoorah!

2011-10-24T11:20:00.003+01:00

It seems my prayers to make believe pagan gods have been answered. Either that or I'm being a complete fool again by believing the weather forecast yet again and it's going to break my heart in two. Hyperbole? Me? Perish the thought.

The forecast might not be predicting many marvellous hot sunny days but it's the first break in the rain for some time. Now here's hoping it behaves itself and doesn't decide to change completely overnight.

I'm very much looking forward to pedalling my wee heart out over the next few days. In reality that means crawling along at next to no speed.

Just so you know, clicking on the wee picture should enlarge it to a point where it's readable.

Cycling thoughts: 2 'Rain'

2011-10-23T22:37:00.006+01:00

It's not a sophisticated thought. I'm not a sophisticated man. I barely pass for a man never mind the sophisticated bit.

The long and short of it is...

...I HATE RAIN

Okay okay, I see the point in rain. I like living in a country without serious water shortages, where crops grow well and suchlike. I don't, however, like being stuck in the house for a week, unable to cycle because it has rained almost constantly every single day.

The forecasts keep having a laugh at my expense; telling me 'Oh it's going to be dry the day after tomorrow, honest. Why don't you get all your cycling stuff together, plot a few routes and sure you'll have a great cycle in a couple of days' time'. Like the gullible muggins I am, I believe the forecast, prepare the relevant bits and bobs and get more excited than a middle-aged man should. , with visions of slowly moving bicycles floating around in my head. Stoopid stoopid me! The forecast is a terrible liar. I've whinged about it before but I never learn.

Please think positive weather thoughts and help save my sanity (and waistline).

NB Yes, I know I could cycle in the rain but I'm a fair-weather lightweight when it comes to my cycling.

P is also for...

2011-10-17T11:12:00.009+01:00

I was initially going to nab this piddly image but thought the picture I chose seemed more appropriate to here.

P is for Panic: I had a cyclist's nightmare the other morning. I was on the last leg of my getting ready to head out for a cycle routine; I'd reached the have a small cup of coffee stage. On went our Dolce Gusto coffee machine (if you click on the link, I hope you thoroughly enjoy their music), in went the Cafe Lungo (whatever that is) pod, over went the actually put coffee in a cup lever and 'Pffft!', out came a few drips before the machine went kaput.

'Eek!', 'Jakers!', 'Cripes!', 'Egads!' and other such words people don't actually say or think unless they're characters in a cartoon. I feared my, seemingly correct, actions had destroyed our beloved so simple even an idiot like me can use it coffee maker.

You may not be one who finds cycling and coffee go together as an almost inseparable pair but I am and I'm definitely not alone. The thought of breaking up that relationship was not one I relished. Plus, I didn't want to have to pay to get the coffee machine fixed or replaced. Tears were considered but didn't appear.

Needless to say, my panic and worries were for nothing. It was a wonky coffee pod. The machine was absolutely fine, coffee was consumed and a slow tootling cycled ensued. The world was a wonderful place.

P is for Peculiar: From time to time I'll perform an action and think afterwards 'Why on Earth did I do that?'. That time to time happened for me again on Friday.

I'd been cycling a (by my standards) hilly route along the Antrim coast and was thoroughly knackered while making my (slow) crawl up the coast. Passing through (makes me sound like a poop) Carnlough, some wag (ie. a cocky spide) was weaving all over the road on his oncoming bicycle. As he neared me he said, something along the lines of, 'What about a race mate?' while laughing. Usually I go into immediate self-depreciation mode and say the likes of 'Ach no. You'd only beat me too easily' but the fatigue of the day must have addled my mind.

Rather than humouring him, I waited until he was directly opposite me, looked him dead in eyes, grinned manically and flipped him the bird. Weird as it sounds, I seemed to think this was all good natured japing around at the time. I didn't mean it to be particularly offensive. Cocky spide, however, seemed less than enamoured. Oops! Unlikely as it is, if Cocky Spide is reading this, please accept my apologies (particularly for calling you a cocky spide).

P is for Pheasants: Loads of the buggers. It seems everywhere I cycle, asides from urinating (see previous P), I have to avoid pheasants.

Pheasants don't appear to be terribly smart, even as birds go. Rather than having the common sense to run or fly away from the oncoming bicycle, they have a tendency to run a few feet in one direction, turn around to run in another random manner and repeat this until they're either safe or involved in a crash. They're lovely birds but rather nonsensical. At least, in their defence, they're pheasants and not peasants. I'd hate to sully myself writing about the lower classes.

P is for Purchasing: I've had an almost obsession with buying (cheap) cycling stuff recently. Mainly it has comprised of jerseys and the odd bit of other clothing. It makes me wonder why I buy it all.

It's not that I have a huge vault filled with cycle gear but I certainly have enough to be getting on with. I could probably wear the stuff I have for the next five or ten years and not have to purchase another item of cycle clothing yet purchase I do. My (very basic) theory on this is of the old donkey and carrot scenario; If I buy cycling garments, I'll want to try them out. To try them out I have to go for a cycle. Therefore buying cycle clothing pushes me to go out and cycle more.

Of course it could just be that I like getting stuff.

P is for Pique: Pique's probably too strong a word but it starts with a P so it'll do. I'm sorry to say deflate doesn't start with a P so it won't do. Maybe I should have tried to shoehorn in puncture in an emotional sense? With the bicycle reference, that might have seemed almost clever. What a shame I'm not.

Anyway, my slightly peeved (maybe I should have used P is for Peeve) grump comes from an order I made with Bike Dock. I had ordered my lovely lady three pairs of their Altura Night Vision tights because they were listed for a mere £19-99 GBP each. It seemed like a great price. In addition to the tights, I ordered some other bits and pieces. I think the total order came to a little over £130 GBP.

This morning I received an e-mail apologising and telling me they had a software problem and the tights were incorrectly priced on their website. Apparently the actual price is £34-99 GBP. As the error had been on their part, they said they'd give me another ten percent off the £34-99 GBP.

I appreciate it was an error and am grateful for their apology but, more often than not, companies tend to honour the incorrect price. That being the case, I decided to cancel the order in its entirety. It's the first time I've tried to order anything from Bike Dock and it doesn't entice me to do so again. I'd imagine they're not obliged to sell items at the listed price if there is a mistake but it annoys me they didn't offer to do so. As I wrote earlier, in my experience, normally shops do sell items for the listed price in this scenario. It was, after all, their mistake.

Rather than put me off shopping there, they could have honoured the price and I would have thought 'That's good of them. I'll shop there again' instead of my current 'That's not as good as other shops. I'll not hurry back there to buy anything'. It seems silly on their part. They might have had to take a slight hit on tights but would have earned a new customer (potentially both online and physically in the shop) and good words from me to other prospective customers. Besides, I'd think the profits from the other items I was going to buy likely more than offset any losses incurred from the tights.

As I say, they didn't do anything particularly bad, they just didn't do anything that good. Other shops have shown considerably superior customer service and will get my business instead. They've left a bit of a bad taste. Maybe they'll write back to my cancel the order e-mail and redeem themselves. That remains to be seen. I'll be surprised if they do.

P is for...

2011-10-12T22:45:00.006+01:00

P is for Puncture: When it comes to most aspects of life, I'm not a superstitious fool. I don't worship the moon or believe a certain number of a particular type of bird means I'm going to win the lottery or die horribly. Yep, I like to think I'm a modern scientific level-headed guy. Why then, if I'm so bloody logical, do I refuse to say the P word when out cycling? It even pained me to type it there earlier. What kind of moron am I (before you answer, I'm many types and flavours of moron)?

Do I think some sort of tyre god (as opposed to the Norse god Tyr [thank you Valhalla]) is going to send forth a plague of thorns should I dare utter the P word? Apparently I do. Apparently I am of the opinion my saying the P word will directly result in my getting a hole in my tyre which allows air to escape. That means two things must be true:

1. I'm extremely egotistical to think I'm so important or magical as to make this mystical tyre rupturing take place with only the utterance of a mere word
2. I'm obviously mental and not in a way people say when they want people to think they're great fun but rather in the manner which means they're in danger of being sectioned

P is for Pee or Pee Pee or Piss or Pish: There are probably other names for urinating which start with a P too. Please feel free to share in the comments section.

Of late it seems I can't cycle for more than a couple of miles without an overwhelming desire to urinate. As I'm not an animal wishing to mark his territory, I fear I may have an over excitable bladder. He's fine when he's in the house but take him out for a day (I mean out of the house not outside my body) and it appears he's a terrible showoff.

I'm not sure if it's the recent spate of cold weather giving my bladder a shock, the caffeine filled tablets which are in the fluid I drink (caffeine barely needs to pass my lips before I've have to make toilet) or simply one of the unpleasant parts of the aging process. Whatever it is, I'm against it. I don't want to be stopping all the time to empty my waste at the side of the road. It's highly unpleasant and rather unseemly. Plus, I don't want to find myself getting in trouble because someone thought I was having a fiddle when I was actually having a piddle (there's another one). P is not for pervert (or anything considerably worse).

P is for Plonker/Pillock: Well, it is if you're Derek Trotter (for the former) or a cliched person from northern England (for the latter).

This grumble relates to an incident when we (myself and my good lady) were out cycling about a week ago. We were passed by another cyclist and pleasantries (ie. 'Hello') were exchanged.

After he passed us, realising we were almost home, I said to 'er indoors 'We've got a few gels and things we didn't use. Should I catch up with him and ask him if he wants them?'. Post affirmative response, I gave chase to offer gels, bars etc. to the gent who had passed us and may have required them more than us. I was catching up with him reasonably quickly until he looked round, saw I was closing and decided to up his pace. Likewise, I increased my speed and bit so I could make the offer. He kept looking round to see where I was and carried on and on increasing his speed as I got closer and closer.

Eventually I couldn't be arsed any more and stopped trying to catch him. Honestly, I don't know if I could have caught him or not at the speed he was eventually going but that's not really the point. I mean, what was he thinking? He obviously only increased his speed so I couldn't catch up with him. Did he think I was trying to race him? I was on a steel framed tourer with mudguards and a rack pack and wasn't on my own. Did he imagine I was going to rush on, leave my lady love behind and try to break him in two with my majestic racing? Gawd knows. What a frigging tool!

I evidently wasn't tracking him with fury and bad intentions. We'd just said 'Hello' pleasantly a few minutes earlier. I just dunno what goes on in some people's heads at times.

P is for Precipitation: Thank goodness I remembered the word precipitation. Previously I had typed Pistulent Weather. Even by my own standards, making words up is contrived.

We were taken for a ride today. That's a poor choice of words. We actually went on a ride today and weren't taken anyway, unless you count travelling by bicycle as the bike taking us somewhere. Anyway, this taking for a ride isn't of that sort. It refers, instead, to the hilarious lark which is the weather forecast.

As you will know if you read the previous post, I've been going doolally with weather woes. It has been raining pretty much every day recently. Imagine my joy when the forecasts showed today's weather to be white cloud but dry (not normally that exciting I'll grant you). We plotted and planned a route to do today, got our stuff ready last night (I'm like a child on Christmas Eve) and headed out for a lovely cycle today. Well guess what, it pissed down on us and was almost exactly the same weather we've been having almost every day recently; hours of light rain with the odd bright spell.

Oh how the weather forecasters must giggle with their evil games. Ha! The joke's on them. Despite both cyclists (myself and the good lady again) and our bikes getting absolutely filthy (requiring a hosing down and some Muc-Off when we got home) and a few nervous moments on the filthy slippery roads, we enjoyed ourselves while the forecasters were chained up in their weather towers. Up theirs!

Third time lucky

2011-10-11T11:12:00.004+01:00

Remember my witter about 'silly' cycle jerseys? No? It was the one with the photo of boobs. Ah, you remember now.

Anyhoo (as people don't actually say), in that post, I mentioned about ordering a Foska Kwik-E-Mart jersey from Evans Cycles.

As is customary in these affairs, I paid for the jersey and it arrived in the post. As is also customary in such situations, I wore this jersey while cycling (just the once), the hem unravelled and a long white thread tried to make its way into my gearing (thankfully failing to do so). Evans was phoned, apologies were made (by them, not me), the jersey was sent back (with me paying for the shipping), time was waited and another jersey (as if by magic) arrived in the post.

Again going with custom, I opened the package and looked at the jersey. This time, I didn't even need to put it on to see it wasn't good. Down the left side, a thread had been caught, pulled and left the jersey laddered/hitched up. I'm not sure what the actual expression is but hope my stumbling wordage gets you in the right ballpark. Oh and it had dirty dusty warehouse smudges on it but they were washable.

So, on the phone to Evans I went again and this time had a good whinge at them about having to spend so much on posting the jerseys back, driving to and from the post office etc. (although I'm not sure there actually as an 'etc.'). The nice chap from Evans told me to hang on to the faulty jersey (which is wearable but not of merchantable quality) and had another one (which he inspected beforehand) sent out to me.

The new jersey, so far, seems to be in good condition and has not fallen apart after one wear. We'll see how it survives a mild wash.

In summary, the lessons learned are; Evans Cycles eventually seems to sort problems out to customers' satisfaction and whinging at people is the best way to get results.

Onto other matters...

Hasn't this week been appalling! Being one who, whenever possible, doesn't cycle in the rain, I've been going spare. I've had a terrible case of cabin fever, sitting indoors getting gradually angrier and angrier about and at the weather.

The weather isn't a great thing to get angry at. There's never any satisfactory conclusion. I can be angry at it for rainy weeks, become friends again when the rain subsides and it'll still turn round and rain all over me without any concern for how it might make me feel.

I suppose it's better to direct one's anger at the weather than at other living beings. However, in writing that, my cabin fever has made me even more insufferable to live with than normal. It's amazing quite how depressed the inactivity was making me feel. Getting out for a quick (in terms of time, not my speed) ride yesterday was like opening a frustration valve.

By nature I'm a fairly lazy chap. I don't particularly enjoy exercise for exercise sake. In fact, if I perceived cycling as exercise and not an activity, I'm not sure I would enjoy it very much. Other than cycling, I haven't been doing much cardiovascular exercise and I miss it terribly when I'm housebound by the weather. I could (and should) use a treadmill, spinning bike, cross-trainer, rowing machine and suchlike and attempt to ~~keep~~ get fit that way but it's not something I derive much pleasure from and find it hard to motivate myself to partake in such activities. If I was more of a fan of banging Eurotechno, I might find it easier.

Thanks for reading and may the weather where you are be always sunny (although not really because that would probably lead to some terrible problems with crops, water supplies and all that auld caper).

Cycling thoughts: 1 'Gears'

2011-10-02T20:01:00.004+01:00

It's easy to write posts of about two sentences on this so I will and I'll pretend they're profound (which they're not) by associating them with the word thought (or possibly thoughts).

I think I'll do a load of them because, as I say, it's dead easy and fills space. Right, here goes nothing...

My first thought was... Hang on, it wasn't my first thought ever, it's just the first thought I had in terms of doing these thoughts things. I have thought in the past. Hmmm, seems trying to keep to a couple of sentences is proving more difficult for me than I imagined. Back to the matter in hand...

My first thought was probably that previous post where I realised I was being a little obsessive using a cotton bud to clean my bicycle. However, I didn't post it as such so this is going to be the first thought even thought it isn't really.

Okay, now to the dismal disappointment of my thought. Gawd this is an anticlimax. Anyway, I was thinking today about that moment of disappointment when you're struggling along on your bike and think 'I'll change down into the gear I was holding off going into until I'm really knackered' and then realise you were already in it.

Oh dear. That was it. Sorry about that. Must do better.

Obsession for men

2011-09-26T15:37:00.003+01:00

There comes a time in a man's life when he takes a good long look at himself and thinks 'Is this really what I've become?'. For me, that happened a couple of days ago when I realised I was cleaning my bicycle with a cotton bud.

Prior to getting the cotton bud to clean the bicycle, I knew I was going to go to the drawer, get the cotton buds, open them, choose one (my favourite cotton bud) and use it to clean my bicycle. I didn't, however, know quite how ridiculous that seems when actually put into practice until the moment itself.

Dogs, clowns and Sir Jimmy Savile

2011-09-22T15:36:00.013+01:00

The other day I did something I'm not sure whether to be ashamed of or not. While we were cycling along, a dog ran out and angrily made its way toward us barking. I shouted at it to try to get it to go back but it kept coming so (here's the potentially shameful part) I spat and my spittle hit it on the nose. When this happened it immediately stopped in its tracks, shut up, looked a bit confused, then turned around and went back into its abode.

I don't know if spitting on dogs is a great pastime but it seemed effective in that case. I suppose it doesn't harm the dog and I can be sure its nose has been immersed in much worse than a little bit of saliva. If it stops the dog from running out in front of a bike or, potentially worse, biting one of us, is it a good practice to partake in? I really don't know.

I feel like a bit of a shit for spitting on the poor dog but, at the same time, I didn't do it any harm and was getting pretty desperate in my attempts to stop it. It's considerably more humane than giving the dog a kick or anything horrid like that. Ultimately the dog shouldn't have been able to get out onto the road to bark at us in the first place. If the owner even vaguely cared about their pet, they would make sure it was kept in and safe.

I was petty with another dog today. It's a Jack Russell (I think) which almost always runs up beside the road, jumps out of a hedge and barks at me. I was travelling the opposite direction from normal today (I'm a terrible creature of habit) and came upon the dog... Good grief! No! Not in that way! I draw the line at spitting. Anyway, I chanced upon the dog and he hadn't noticed I was there. So, being childish and (as mentioned) petty, I waited until I was quite close to him and barked at him. He was suitably raging but couldn't get anywhere near me as my usual uphill pass of him was now downhill. I'm sure the guys working on a big shed across the road thought I was an arsehole. They're probably right.

When I see/read about someone successfully taking undertaking an activity I also attempt, I try to analyse their, work out where I could improve and copy them. Needless to say, I often get it completely wrong. What I'm most prone to doing is looking at, for example, someone cycling and thinking 'Oh, they appear to have their knees and toes 'in' a little. I'll have to do that too'. That's all good and well if I didn't completely overdo it until I end up cycling with form like some sort of clown lampooning a cyclist. All I ended up doing was giving myself knee problems.

Another clown's problem I have while cycling is the old hook foot. Rather than realising my ankles let me pivot my foot up and down, I often find I've kind of stuck my foot into a toe down position. That's not good; either for my output or my hamstrings. Just on that subject, our neighbour told me cycling can shorten one's hamstrings. I think he could be correct.

Some of the elder statesmen of cycling round here (who have been cycling for over sixty years) walk in a manner which suggests their hamstrings are a tad tighter than a non-cyclist of a similar vintage may be. Of course, they've probably got much better hearts, fat content, etc. etc. than many less active people too and they really are incredible for their age. Any of the particular gents I'm thinking of would be much stronger on a bike than I am and I'm not even forty yet. All the same, it makes me think I should do plenty of hamstring stretches. I'd like to be healthy in as many ways as possible for as long as possible. Note to self: be aware of form on the bike and stretch plenty off.

'Come on, get to the bit where you shoehorn in some rubbish about Jimmy Savile'. That's what we all want, isn't it? Of course it is. I'm sorry to say it's nothing from personal experience, just a wee fact (at least I hope it's accurate) which I discovered while nerding about the internet recently: Sir Jimmy Savile (who a friend of mine once accidentally referred to as Jammy Civil) rode in the 1951 Tour of Britain as a semi-professional. Blimey! You can see a scan of a relevant newspaper article here. For some reason The Duke (no, Davids Dickinson and Bowie weren't in the race too, as far as I know) is referred to as Oscar Savile. That's confusing. I'd imagine Óscar Sevilla is named after him. This seems to confirm the participant is indeed Sir James.

I knew about his marathon running and wrestling but he seems to have been an all-round athlete. If we're to trust the accuracy of Wikipedia, here's a quote from the man himself on just that subject:

"If you look at the athletics of it, I've done over 300 professional bike races, 212 marathons and 107 pro fights." He proudly announces that he lost 35 of his first 35 fights. "No wrestler wanted to go back home and say a long-haired disc jockey had put him down. So from start to finish I got a good hiding. I've broken every bone in my body. I loved it."

I've got a new found respect for the slightly creepy old cigar-chomping weirdo now. Reading further on Wikipedia, I guess his being involved in raising over forty million pounds for charity probably deserves a little hint of credit too. Maybe I'm the creepy weirdo by being more impressed by his Tour of Britain ride.

Oh, while on the subject of the Tour of Britain, couldn't they shove another couple of more difficult mountains in it? I know Britain doesn't have the sorts of climbs one would find in France, Italy or Spain but surely there are some tough climbs which aren't getting a look in and which could make it more exciting. Aren't there?

Legs of lead and a head full of poop

2011-09-21T16:37:00.019+01:00

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id="SPELLING_ERROR_66"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;br&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/span&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_67"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;lt&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/span&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;;/span&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;

Here's hoping this attempt of mine to embed a wee map (from MapMyRide) works. At least I think that's embedding. I'd recommend clicking the view elevation button (scroll down the map) to see what my forthcoming snoozefest is about.

It's a snippet of a few miles cycling I did yesterday (along with other unmapped miles) which showed me to be the weakling I always suspected.

I am, however, a stubborn weakling as I refused to walk. I'd be lying to say I found it anything short of tough going but I twiddled up at a crawl in my tiny 30 front 29 rear gearing and eventually made it to the top. Sometimes I even threw it into a high gear like a 30/26 or 30/23 (for about ten feet at a time). I'm a regular Bert Grabsch with that kind of gearing.

That climb was probably no big whoop for most cycling types but, while pedalling up the 16% section into the strong headwind and looking at the black cloud on the mountain top, I kept thinking 'What kind of moron does this to himself?'. Needless to say, that was replaced with 'Yay! I feel brilliant for having done that' immediately upon reaching the summit.

Something I made an error of during my cycle was taking on too much caffeine. After caffeine infused gels, tablets in my juice (including accidentally dropping two into a bottle when it should have been one alone) and meeting my lovely lady for a couple of coffees (which she bought for me) on the way home, my stomach was not particularly grateful. I'm surprised my bowels didn't register a complaint too. Remarkably (and thankfully) they behaved themselves very well. Had they not, I dread to think of the consequences.

My GPS was annoying the boobies off me yesterday. It kept telling me I wasn't moving when I knew (albeit slowly) I was. It was behaving particularly badly about half way up my mountain (listen up belittling grumblers, it does officially count as a mountain) climb, bleeping constantly and being a regular pain in the bum. Eventually I had to switch the speed/cadence sensor off and let it get my pace from the GPS itself. I hope it turns out to be nothing more sinister than a battery in need of replacing. I'm sure a replacement unit is about forty pounds or more.

Has anyone been watching the UCI World Championships in Denmark? I'd say the chaps and lasses involved in that might be able to make it up my (to them) little bump of a climb yesterday hardly having broken sweat. They seem almost superhuman.

As you'll know if you're a regular here, I've been bitten by the cycle jersey buying bug of late. The other day I added to my recent addiction and got another Foska jersey. This time it was a black I Pay Road Tax jersey. What I didn't realise at the time is that it refers to the website www.IPayRoadTax.com. In my ignorance, I thought it was making referece to the majority of people on bicycles also owning cars and paying road tax. More fool me. As their website points out, I don't pay road tax at all. I pay vehicle tax. Here it is (copied and pasted) from the I Pay Road Tax website:

Road tax was abolished 74 years ago. Road tax doesn't exist. It's car tax, a tax on cars and other vehicles, not a tax on roads or a fee to use them. Motorists do not pay directly for the roads. Roads are paid for via general and local taxation. In 1926, Winston Churchill started the process to abolish road tax. It was finally culled in 1937. The ironically-named iPayRoadTax.com helps spread this message on cycle jerseys. Car tax is based on amount of CO2 emitted so, if a fee had to be paid, cyclists would pay the same as 'tax-dodgers' such as disabled drivers, police officers, the Royal family, and band A motorists, ie £0. Most cyclists are also car-owners, too, so pay VED. Many of those who believe road tax exists, want cyclists off the roads or, at least registered, but bicycle licensing is an expensive folly.

Like a lot of such websites, it appears the contributor(s) can be a bit vitriolic gut reaction at times but it generally seems fairly decent. They're also prone to taking ridiculous internet comments (which were presumably made in some pathetic attempt at humour by unfunny and unintelligent people) as if they're meant literally. I don't think that kind of action helps their cause much but they've got some good stuff to say in there too.

The point about people paying tax on their vehicles as opposed to paying directly for the road is a fair one and worth making. It is a bit of a tired cliche to hear people grumble about cyclists not paying road tax. Turns out we all don't, including those who drive Volvos.

While looking up the Foska website I noticed they sell novelty pasta. It's a bit expensive for my tastes but I still like it. I'm afraid it's much the same story when it comes to the prices of the coffee etc. at Big Maggy's online shop too. I'm a tightwad.

Today's pointless cycling thoughts

2011-09-18T22:57:00.017+01:00

I picked a particularly attractive photograph of that young charmer Mark Cavendish. Looking at it (and being bitchy) you can see why he had a bit of dental work done a year or two back.

I'm being cheeky but, if rumours are to be believed, I was quite impressed by something Cavendish did. Apparently (according to hearsay) he will be doing as everybody thought and heading to Sky this coming season. He's (according to the same hearsay) being signed to a £2.5 million contract (very nice indeed). What I hadn't heard before, however, is that he was allegedly (same source) offered £4 million by Quick Step and turned it down.

My thinking 'That's good' isn't anything anti-Quick Step or pro-Sky. In fact, if anything, I probably like Quick Step a little more than Sky. My reasoning is that Cavendish has chosen to make a decision based upon what he wants to do rather than purely for financial gain. I think that's quite good of him, not to be a greedy money grabber. He can be a real tit at times (although can't we all) but he seems to absolutely love cycling and do it for the right reasons. At some point in the future (when things take a downturn he gets beaten into a bit of modesty) he may even come across as being likable.

Something else the rumour (if correct) shows is that Quick Step has a lot of financial backing. Of course, it may turn out the rumours are completely unfounded. Maybe he'll actually join BMC like everyone else? Hmm, maybe not.

In unrelated non-news, my good lady and I were out for a (sometimes wet but never unbearably so) cycle today. It was the first time this year I did a cycle of over fifty miles. I know some of you probably haven't done a cycle under fifty miles this year but it was a bit of a landmark for me. Without meaning to go on and on and on ad infinitum about it, my ropey knee (and lack of fitness) was keeping me from doing the cycles I might like to have. It was good to do 56.1 miles today and, I'm pleased to say, my knee feels as okay as it ever does. I nearly did fifty a few weeks ago but discovered it was 49.29 miles when I got home. I could have gone out to do 0.71 miles then but even I'm not that pathetic.

Really, mileage means nothing other than to the person doing it but it did feel like an achievement for me today to cycle the route I did without suffering knee problems. I feel my knee pain has been such an, er, pain? It's great to be able to get out cycling. Here's hoping my forthcoming physio can help clear it up completely. I'll stop repeating myself about my knee pain obsession now.

I was wittering recently about ordering one of those Foska Kwik-E-Mart jerseys. Well, I had it on today and the bloody hem unravelled part of the way round. I had a big length of thread hanging down from me. I'm lucky it didn't get caught in the drivetrain. I'll have to e-mail Evans and see if they've got a replacement. I don't believe jerseys are supposed to unravel the first time one wears them.

Yesterday I did something very long overdue and replaced the front brake cable on my Madigan bicycle. It was, as the made up word goes, an embuggerance. It should simply be a matter of loosing the part of the brakes which holds the cabling, pulling the right brake lever and feeding the cable back through its housing. Yep, that's what it should have been. As you will have ascertained, that's not what actually happened. The cable simply would not budge. Some sleuthing (ie. asking other people what might be wrong) has unearthed, what I believe to be, the answer: some stinker had used Shimano brake cabling.

I know that doesn't sound terrible but it isn't so good to use Shimano cabling with Campagnolo levers. The cabling itself is fine but the wee stoppers at the end aren't interchangeable. It would appear Shimano's cable stops are a bit larger than Campagnolo's and, if you try to use them with Campagnolo levers, they get stuck and are an embuggerance to get out. After much grumbling and pliers trying, I eventually got the cabling out with some long nosed pliers which look rather like this. I almost danced for joy when the bugger popped out. I imagine I'll have similar fun when it comes to doing the back brake and the gearing.

I know that's not interesting but it might be useful so you can avoid a similar problem yourself.

I'll bore off now.

Tandemitis

2011-09-15T22:34:00.006+01:00

We've been some giving thought recently to getting another tandem.

As you may know (if you've read posts such as these) we already have a tandem. It is, however, a flat bar tandem and the space is rather limited for the stoker (ie. person at the back). As such, it gets very uncomfortable for stoking purposes unless you're smaller than about 5'5". It also, despite covering reasonable extremities in its range of gearing, only has a seven speed freewheel. That means there's quite a jump between gears and it can be difficult to find gears which seem natural to pedal in. Cadence goes up and down a bit more than one might like when pedalling on our current tandem.

So, what to do? We don't want to spend the kind of money the likes of a Santana tandem would cost, even though I'd imagine they're great bicycles. A Landescape (which I also imagine to be rather good) would be a bit less but is still more than we'd have to spend on such an item. Therefore, despite our earlier problems, we're considering ordering a Dawes Galaxy Twin.

It had been a couple of years since we were last out on a tandem so we took our old bike out for a short spin last night. I can see definite positives about it but goodness me I was sore afterward and not just in a 'I've done some exercise and my muscles hurt because I've been working them' way. I found I had pain in my left shoulder, left hip, both knees and right hamstring. That's not good. The confusion, for me, is whether that pain is a result of a poor fitting tandem (which it is) or whether it's because of some little nuances which must exist in tandem riding (not being able to stand up so easily and quickly, having to compromise on cadence with the stoker etc.). It makes buying a tandem sight unseen a less attractive prospect. I wouldn't want to spend about £1300 (which I've seen the Dawes for) on a bicycle only to find it doesn't suit our needs.

Living in Nireland, I don't think there are any local tandem stockists where I could try one of the Galaxy Twins out (and possibly buy it). I wonder if the distance selling regulations would enable us to get it, try it out and (in the worst case of our not wanting it) returning it having had to pay only the shipping charges? I should probably get in touch with a stockist and ask them.

To add to my concerns, I was out cycling solo today and was completely drained of any power. Given how brisk last night's tandem outing was, it really shouldn't have stolen so much Oomph! (not that I have a lot of Oomph! at the best of times) from me. That worries me slightly. I don't want to be doing myself any harm with tandem riding.

Maybe I'd be best saving my money?

Silly Cycle Jerseys

2011-09-12T13:08:00.020+01:00

Maybe silly isn't the right word for the jerseys I'm going to babble about. A silly cycle jersey might be one made of a material entirely unsuitable for purpose. For example, a paper cycle jersey (while good at blocking the wind on descents, for a while anyway) would be a silly cycle jersey; it wouldn't wash very well and the wicking properties are at best questionable. No, the more I think of it, the more I realise the jerseys I'll bore you about with my prattling barely related nonsense aren't silly.I suppose they're more flippant. That's not to be confused with flippant the bird, a practice one shouldn't undertake even with the most arrogant of drivers (unless one wishes said driver to turn round and drive over one).

Was there a reason or point to this? Barely and I'll struggle to make it with a series of terrible puns and vaguely related/disjointed paragraphs. Have fun reading...

Does a cycle jersey say much about the person wearing it? I'm not sure. I guess it does as much as general day to day clothing. Possibly more. In fact, almost definitely more. If pressed (I'm so sick of strangers constantly asking my opinion on cycle jersey purchasing) I'd say, for most, there's a more proactive process in buying and wearing cycle clothing than with general clothes. Perhaps I'm too subjective on this subject because I probably put more thought into my cycle clothing purchases than my general garb. In my case it's partly because my cycling ensembles tend to be more expensive than my normal clothing. That's not to say my cycling attire is of the highest quality and price. It's not. I'm an equal opportunities tightwad cheapskate in all walks of life.

In summary, it's safe to say one's cycle jersey says something about him/her. What is this something it says?

As usual, all I can do is write from personal experience or the shared experiences of friends. As I have no friends, that narrows it down to personal experience. When I started cycling as an adult (see old posts like this for some boredom about that subject) I was a bit of a moron when it comes to cycle clothing. At first, I didn't want 'Stupid looking Lycra shorts' or anything like that. After getting more into cycling and buying a second hand Peugeot road bike (which I still have a soft spot for but never use nowadays) I realised wearing activity appropriate clothing was a good move. Let the ne'r-do-wells scoff at me all they like.

Initially I deliberately bought very plain jerseys etc. I was very much of the opinion that 'I'm not going to wear any team stuff because I'm not a competitive cyclist and, even if I was, I wouldn't be at the level of the pros and shouldn't wear their stuff'. While I'm no faster or more competitive than I was and am more aware than ever of the huge gap in fitness between me and professional cyclists, I've since bought a few team jerseys. At the time, I also thought drivers might think 'Aye, there's one of those Lycra clad wannabe cycle race b@5t@rd5' and didn't want anyone behind the wheel of a potential battering ram to show any more bitterness toward me than was absolutely necessary. Come to think of it, I still reckon some motorists might be a bit that way. I am, however, of the opinion people with such attitudes will look for something to aggravate them in anything. There's no winning with some people.

Something which put me off wearing team kit was an example of my own snideness. We were passing a guy in a Fassa Bortolo kit one day. He was less than slim and I commented (only to the passenger in the car) 'Fatty Bartolo' (I was throwing stones and risked breaking the glass in my own house). It made me think 'If I'm a snide enough twat to say that, what could I expect passing motorists to shriek out the window at me?'. Not being a fan of random abuse, I shied away from such clothing for a while. I still don't wear much team kit but, at the same time, I like watching the Pro Tour and now see no reason not to wear associated clothing. I'm evidently less snide and more confident than I once was.

'What does any of this rubbish have to do with silly or flippant cycle jerseys?' you ask (if you're still reading). If you did ask that, you've made a good point. I have wittered rather. It's not much of a post really; it's merely about my penchant for more flippant cycle jerseys. I order a couple of Foska Simpsons themed jerseys (from Evans Cycles) today and it made me think 'I'm partial to a bit of silly jersey'. I should have thought 'I'm partial to a bit of a flippant jersey'. The jerseys I ordered were the Kwik-E-Mart short sleeve and the Duff Beer long sleeve. They're hardly especially zany shirts to wear and I wouldn't wear t-shirts of them in my day to day life (admittedly this makes little sense) but here's hoping they're a good fit and look well. I suppose, going back to an earlier point, part of the reason (in addition to my simply liking them) in getting such jerseys is in the (vain?) hope some motorists might think 'Ach, he's just some spud out to have fun on his bike. I'll not bother running over him'.

I also bought a half price token from the Bike Radar Daily Deal thingamajig to get a jersey off the Half Baked Brand website. That's what started all this off today and led to my looking at (and then buying) the Foska jerseys. I really shouldn't sign up for special offer e-mails. They end up costing me a lot. I'm not sure which jersey to get from Half Baked Brand. I'd have liked the long sleeve Milking It! jersey but it's only available in enormous sizes and I'm a wretched little pune. The short sleeve Milking It! is good but I wish it didn't have the words 'Milking It!' on the back. The green Milking It! (which reminds me a little of Sky's Tour de France ensemble) doesn't have the words on the back but I think I might prefer the white jersey (although the green appeals to me more as I keep looking at it). The white jersey is probably more noticeable and that's something worth taking into account, although the green isn't exactly subtle itself. Another option, which would be less selfish, would be to get my good lady the pink Milking It! jersey. Oh such awful high pressure decisions! The more I look at them, the more I think any of them would be good.

Whichever I pick (with the exception of my showing an unusual generosity and choosing to get a top for not me) it can join my Tunnocks Teacakes, various Primal and Northwave jerseys and whatever other associated tat I pull round my unfit form and sweat profusely in.

Ultimately the jersey means most to the wearer and much less than the wearer. It doesn't help me go faster or get fitter but it might increase my enjoyment in giving it a bash.

NB Believe it or not, this wasn't entirely an excuse to show a picture of a lady with her painted bosoms on display. I had started blethering on long before I found the picture.

On Your Bike - Belfast

2011-09-05T00:21:00.024+01:00

I had a super day today (or yesterday if you're a pedant). I started it with a short cycle (in case you're wondering, I didn't clean my tyres this time), came home and watched the Vuelta ([SPOILER STARTS] well done Señor Cobo [SPOILER ENDS]) and then drove to Belfast to watch three cycling related films at the On Your Bike (hence the post title) mini festival-ish thingamajig.

First things first; That's three cycles in the past three days for me. Although the last couple have been quite brief, it's all been a test for my wonky knee. It's feeling a little off right now so maybe I should rest it for a few days. I think the weather may stop my having the option to go out cycling (I'm very fair-weather) anyway. All the same, it hasn't given me any real bother. That's marvellous. Hopefully it'll be even better once I get some physiotherapy, if anyone ever contacts me about that. Maybe I should phone them (although I'm not sure who them is) and ask what's going on.

Second things second; I don't want to mention anything about the Vuelta itself in case anyone missed today's stage, will be watching it on the rest day tomorrow and is reading this inbetween. It would be quite easy to have missed it if you live in the UK as, despite it being one of the biggest days in the history of UK cycling, both ITV4 and British Eurosport decided not to show it live on television. Prior to that, ITV4 had shown every stage live and British Eurosport had shown all but one.

In their defence, ITV4 was streaming it live online but we've got an awful internet connection and it wouldn't work. Thankfully I eventually found I could watch the Eurosport (which must have been broadcasting to mainland Europe) coverage online and the picture quality on it was low enough for even our yokel connection to suffice. Phew! It's a day I didn't want to miss.

Lastly (is that a word?) ; On Your Bike. The films we went to see (in the order screened) were Böikzmöind, A Sunday In Hell and Jour De Fête.

There's not much point in my writing a huge lot about each one as one's view of films is entirely subjective (and because you can look at information on the links yourselves). All the same...

Böikzmöind made me dislike some hipsters a bit more (the director seemed very pleasant though and wasn't too hip). The premise was to display why some people ride fixed wheel bicycles. In reality, it was more of a short (30 mins) piece about a fixed wheel cyclist collective in Bristol and their hijinx (mostly comprising of being slightly-annoying-but-probably-more-likeable-in-real-life silly-face-pulling hipsters) than a conscientious attempt to answer the question. That's not to say it was devoid of entertainment. It was pleasant enough viewing.
A Sunday In Hell was fairly interesting but could have been at least half an hour shorter, more informative and featured less of the dreadful 'Paris Roubaix' choral singing. It's not one the French tourist board might want to promote, unless they'd like people to think the people of France are surly protesting flat cap wearing heavy smoking (it was the 70s) poodle walking malcontents.
Jour De Fête made me laugh quite a lot more than I had expected; at japes no more sophisticated than Jacques Tati walking into stuff. It had the most tenuous link to cycling, although M. Tati was on/off/back on a bike for quite a lot of the film. It was probably the film I most enjoyed of the three, even if it turns out that Jacques Tati isn't French for jacket potato. Oh, if you do see this film, doesn't Roger (played by Guy Decomble) look like Thomas Voeckler. There's another coincidental cycling link for you.

As we didn't have to pay for any of today's activities, that was good. That written, I must be getting old as I had to put my fingers in my ears during the first two films as the volume was too loud for me. Even Jour De Fête was a tad on the noisy side for me, although none of the other nine people there complained.

Now I'm going to bed to continue reading Rough Ride. Who says I'm one dimensional?

Wee 'text box' on the right

2011-09-03T16:29:00.004+01:00

Just a quick web nerd note...

I forgot to mention about that wee 'text box' on the right, entitled Follow by Email. If you type your e-mail address in there and click Submit, you'll automatically get an e-mail when there is a new Ranting Cycle Bores post. That'll save you from even having to come to this weblog (although you still can if you like).

Crosswinds? They were bloody furious

2011-09-02T15:39:00.016+01:00

Forgive the awful cliched joke I titled this post with. In fact, revel in it. It's all downhill (and not in the good cycling downhill way) from there.

Unsurprisingly (as most of my posts start this way) I was out for a scoot (again, not anything fecal) on my bicycle today and this time found myself thinking a lot about crosswinds. It wasn't particularly windy but enough to bring them to my attention. Plus, they'd been talking about crosswinds on ITV4's Vuelta coverage and Paul Kimmage mentioned about them in the bit of Rough Ride (so far an upbeat piece of chirpy light reading and chuckles if ever there was one) I was reading last night. I was prone to crosswind thoughts. 'So get to the point' I hear you cry. Yes, you're right.

Thinking about crosswinds and suffering a little bit of them today, I wondered why they're so annoying. I cycle alone most of the time so it's not like I'm missing out on shelter in the bunch. I'd have thought, using my basic abilities, a wind coming from the side wouldn't make much difference to one's forward motion. It seems I'd have thought wrong. Why does a perpendicular breeze make it more difficult to move forwards? I mean, it's not as bad as an out and out headwind but it's far from pleasant. Am I being an idiot by not knowing? Probably.

In other gibberish, I'm pleased with the way my dodgy right knee has been behaving. I went up (by my standards) a couple of reasonable climbs today. They were quite different from one another too; one was a longer consistent drag and the other was pretty steep (up to about 16/17% at times, which made me feel like walking). It was a good test for my knee and it appears to have passed. That Talar Made 'Compression Cold Therapy - Knee' ice pack seems to have been doing its job. Even asides from it, in general, I've been taking better care of my wonky knee. I've been rubbing anti-inflammatory gels into it, stretching it more fastidiously than I might have in the past, making sure I don't kneel on it too much and lots of little things like that. It appears to be paying off. Here's hoping it continues with its good behaviour.

Do you remember me slabbering on (a few posts ago) about sticking Elite bottle cages on my Sab Alicudi? No? Don't worry about it. Well, I've got a pair of Elite 'Custom Race' bottle cages and the Elite logo on them (which is kind of rubbery) got quite grimy very quickly. I thought I'd give something a go before heading out today and, to my pleasant surprise, it cleaned them up well. It was, simply, to clean them with a toothbrush and toothpaste. Ha! In your face people who think Europeans don't own toothbrushes or toothpaste. Obviously I'd advise using an old toothbrush (or one bought specifically) for such purposes.

While on the subject of the Elite 'Custom Race' cages, I'd advise people to make sure their bottle is fully pushed into place when using them. It slides in a bit and seems to meet some resistance but takes another push to get it into the desired position. I've accidentally put it into the 'first' position a few times. It hasn't caused any problems but I'd guess it holds the bottles less satisfactorily and slippage could occur. Don't come crying to me when that happens.

ADDENDUM: After writing the main piece of this post I (although it was fairly spotless when I got it home as it had been dry) cleaned my bicycle. That in and of itself isn't anything peculiar for me. However, this time, I cleaned the tyres. Is that a step too far? Am I on a slippery slope?

The beginning of the end

2011-08-31T18:58:00.006+01:00

Some may say I'm prone to a little hyperbole when it comes to titling these (normally waffling and not terribly interesting) posts. I'd have to agree.

'The beginning of the end' may be slightly misleading. The only thing ending is the summer. Not surprising really, what with it being the last day of August and all that, but never a pleasant experience.

'Er indoors (or some other 70s, slightly unpleasant term) and I were out for a tootle on our bikes today. That means we were out cycling in a leisurely manner, not urinating on them. Anyway, yes, we were out for a cycle and it was the first time for months when we've had to wear our 3/4 length knickers instead of our shorts. Arm warmers were also a requirement today. I fear this is the shape of things to come.

Our delightful flimsy summer garb will be shoved away in the bottom of a box and we'll be dusting off our long sleeved jerseys, bib-knickers, long sleeved base layers, bib-tights, gilets, winter gloves, glove liners, jackets, under-helmet skullcaps and any other heat retaining cycle clothing we can think of. I know it doesn't matter or stop me being able to get out on my bike but it still makes me a little sad to be saying 'Bye bye' to the summer until next year. Phooey! Maybe I need to consider moving somewhere altogether warmer, although I'm sure hotter climates have associated problems I probably haven't considered.

This is more as a reminder to myself than anything; I forgot to start the timer/data recording on my GPS today after stopping for lunch. That's annoying, especially as some of it was up a wee climb I wanted to look at afterwards. Double phooey!

Despite all my grumbling, I had a lovely day out on my bike and hope to continue doing so through autumn and winter (which would make a change for me).

By the way, is it ironic that I missed the live coverage of the Vuelta because I was out cycling? Perhaps not as professional cycling and what I do have almost nothing in common .

Talar Made

2011-08-29T23:37:00.009+01:00

After a few months of using a Lidl ice pack stuffed into an Endura kneewarmer, I decided to upgrade to a Talar Made 'Compression Cold Therapy - Knee' ice pack about a week ago.

After waiting Amazon's customary 'couple of days' for delivery, I was excited (no, I'm not joking) when my new ice pack arrived and I got the opportunity to try it out. Almost immediately upon returning from one of my usual short cycles, I whipped the new Talar Made ice pack out of the freezer (where I left it, having removed the pump section first as instructed), attached it to my troubled knee, fitted the pump on and pumped it up to compress and freeze my stinky joint into submission.

On first impressions (I've only used it about three or four times) it's great. As you might expect, it's a world of difference from shoving a wee basic pack into a kneewarmer. I didn't think the compression would help as much as it does. Upon further thought, it's kind of obvious that cooling and compressing potential inflammation would be a good combination. It's not, however, something my little mind thought of.

In summary, I'd recommend it to anyone who has similar problems (mine seem to relate mainly to around the patellar tendon). It will be £30 GBP extremely well spent if it continues being as effective as it has so far.

Should there be any revelations to add from further usage (either positive or negative) I'll likely stick it on at the end of this.

Teats and testicles

2011-08-25T13:48:00.021+01:00

Forgive my tabloid headline please. I kind of hoped it might draw a bit of traffic to this blog/whatever it is.

On that subject, I was looking through the statistics of this here bit you're reading

to see why the few people who've looked at it have done so. It turns out the vast majority were searching for Kraftwerk. I had mentioned about their cycle jerseys, in this post, six years ago. Quite slyly, in bringing that up, I've just mentioned Kraftwerk again (and again there) so that should help more. I'm such the evil mastermind me. In case you're interested, I've yet to see a Kraftwerk cycle jersey in the flesh.

'Plugging aside, what's with the tabloid headline?' I'm glad you asked (even if you didn't). It refers to something I was thinking about yesterday whilst out on another brief and enjoyable cycle...

I had to stop at the roadside for a quick pee (it was a very minor road and a reasonably major pee). After urinating I, of course, had to pack my belongings away again and noticed I've changed the manner in which I do this. I used to be a shove to the side man in the past but now seem to have evolved into a lift and then move to the side genitalman (oh the terrible pain of a terrible pun). In case you're interested, sir dresses to the left.

This isn't merely an excuse for me to blather about my genitals on the internet. If that's all it was, I'm sure there are much more appropriate websites. No, there is supposed to be some vague purpose.

Cycling, although a kinder activity than many in terms of knee injuries, juddering action etc. can be quite uncomfortable for some (both male and female) when it comes to their gusset and associated area. I've found the up and to the side method of packing helps with this. I've never really suffered in the manner some people seem to but my comfort is improved with the addition of a lift. If anyone reading this thinks 'I'll give that a go' and finds his comfort improved too, then it had to be worth mentioning.

The funny thing is I imagine I decided to incorporate the lift after seeing someone else do it. I can't, however, think of any situation where I would have seen another man adjusting his junk before getting on a bicycle. It's not something they show an awful lot of on cycling coverage.

I'm afraid there's not much I can do to help female cyclists other than to advise you look here and search for information on saddles etc. (or basically anything bicycle related).

It might also be an idea to make sure you're using a decent chamois cream. I've started using Udderly SMOOth chamois cream over the past few months. To me, it seems like a step up from the Portia (whose website no longer seems functional) cream I was using previously and wrote about here. The Portia stuff was fine but I prefer the feeling of the Udderly SMOOth. It seems to moisturise more and I like that. Plus, maybe I'm a bit of a perv and like spreading Udderly SMOOth directly round my gusset rather than squirting it onto the chamois as I did with the Portia. Who knows what goes on in one's dirty little mind?

Being a fool for an e-mail inbox bargain, I ordered a pair of Power Race 'Tornado' sunglasses (in white frames/blue lens) yesterday from Planet X. Lo and behold, said sunglasses arrived today. Thank you both Planet X and the postal service. As it's very wet today and I'm a fair weather cyclist (or at least intend to be even if it doesn't always work out that way) I haven't had a chance to try my Power Race sunglasses yet. They look good and came in quite elaborate packing (including a hard case, soft sleeve and little lens cleaning cloth) but only actual on bike wear will tell the full story.

Mentioning about my intent to be a fair weather cyclist reminds me of how close I was to an awful soaking yesterday. I popped out for a quick cycle. It was fairly sunny throughout and generally great weather. While putting my bike away and giving it a wipe down, about ten minutes after getting back, there was a prolonged consistent downpour of torrential rain. Missing it more than made up for the shower I got caught in last Thursday. As you may be able to tell, I'm not a great fan of cycling (or doing anything outdoors) in the wet.

I chose a good time to fall back in love with cycling. With both the Vuelta and inaugural USA Pro Cycling Challenge on at the moment, I'm suitably satiated while saturated with cycling. I've been doing a split shift of going out for a cycle, watching the Vuelta when I arrive home (yes sometimes I watch it before showering, euch!) and then it's the USA Pro Cycling Challenge in the evening. It's most peculiar how watching professional cycling enhances my enjoyment of cycling and vice versa. My pottering round flat roads and the professionals' speeding up mountains have very little in common. I suppose the USA Pro Cycling Challenge and I have no live pictures on TV for extended periods of time (in my case forever) in common but that's about it.

Before I go, I've noticed my new bike has started making annoying creaking noises when I'm up on the pedals and pressing down with my right leg/foot. I wonder if it might be linked to another little problem I have with it. It's nothing major. It's just that there's a tiny bit of play in the forks. What I mean is; if I pull on the front brakes and push the bike forward (gently) the rear of the bike (up to the head tube) will move slightly while the front wheel stays still. It's very minor but I'd rather it didn't do it at all.

I've noticed the spacers on the vertical bit of the stem (at least I think that part is still the stem) seem fairly loose compared to those on other bikes I have. On my new bicycle, I can twist them round easily with my fingers. I can't do that with the other bikes. Does that mean I should loosen the bolts at the back of the horizontal section of the stem and tighten the bolt which goes down into the steerer? Forgive my lack of knowledge when it comes to the proper terms please. My fear is overtightening and ending up having to get new forks or something awful like that. As I'm not used to working with a carbon frame/forks/steerer and don't have anything to measure the torque, I'm far from confident when it comes to making such adjustments. Perhaps taking it to someone more knowledgeable would be for the best.

Whatever the weather

2011-08-23T20:54:00.005+01:00

Not that I'm likely to head out for a cycle at 10pm but it's just as well if Metcheck's forecast for tonight is to be believed (if you click on the image it should increase in size). I better remember to bring a jacket if I'm doing anything...

On that subject, at what temperature does anyone decide 'It's too cold to cycle wearing shorts and short sleeves. I'll wear something warmer'? I'm not sure at which point it happens with me. It might actually be as much seasonal as temperature related. What I mean is, for example, it was probably as cold when I was out a couple of days ago as it was during late spring. In spring I'd have been wearing 3/4 length bib-knickers and a long sleeved base layer below a short sleeved jersey. However, in 'summer' (if it could be called that) I have stuck with shorts and a short sleeved jersey with a sleeveless base layer below. Where's the sense in that?

Does the ground hold a bit of heat which builds up over the summer or am I merely in the habit of wearing lighter clothing and too stubborn to change? If anyone reads this and knows, please share your thoughts. It would be good for me learn something.

More uninteresting thoughts

2011-08-21T22:30:00.017+01:00

Here we go. I've been thinking again. Not deeply. Just thinking. Yes, it's about cycling (again).

I've had a bit of a one track mind when it comes to activities lately. It's almost as if I'm discovering cycling all over again. Well, I write 'discovering'. I'm fairly sure someone else knew about it before me.

A few posts ago I mentioned about getting a new bicycle and how there was a lot of 'left to right sway' when I was standing on the pedals. I put that down to, mainly, a lighter frame than I'm used to. However, another aspect I wondered about is whether the shorter cranks (170mm crank arms rather than my usual 175mm) might make a bit of difference there too? If I'm used to pushing that extra half centimetre down on one side and pulling up the same on the other, maybe I've been yanking my cranks (oh please, let's not get bawdy)? Of course, it could be down to a bit of clumsiness on my part too.

Right as I write, I'm trying Garmin Connect for the first time. I've tried Only Connect before (with limited success) but never Garmin Connect. Some might say that's a little overdue of me. As anyone reading this knows (I've mentioned it enough) I've had a Garmin bicycle GPS for a few years. From the little tinkering about I've done with it so far, it seems a step up from Training Center (which is quite basic). I think this may be the start of something beautiful.

I was out on my new bike today, testing both it and my wonky knee. Both seemed to pass my tests (thank you Voltarol). For those who follow this (all none of you) yep, I did end up wearing my b'Twin base layer. Of course I'm way too lazy to have done the washing.

ADDENDUM: Just to mention, Garmin Connect has one slightly annoying flaw/non-feature. You can set the units to 'Statute', 'Metric' or 'Statute UK'. If I set it to 'Statute' I get distance in miles and elevation in feet (which I comprehend). However, the temperature is shown in Fahrenheit (which I don't comprehend). If I set it to 'Metric' I don't understand any of it and have to convert everything. If I set it to 'Statute UK' the distance is shown in miles and the temperature in Centigrade. Hurrahs and awkward slapping of hands in the air all round? I'm afraid not. It shows the elevation in metres.

It would be better if one could set the units used for each field individually. I ended up having to choose 'Statute' and look at this Temperature Converter to know how hot or cold it was.

Craft Cool Mesh base layers

2011-08-21T00:08:00.010+01:00

Did you read a little post I wrote a few days ago, where I was praising Craft Cool Mesh base layers? No? You can read it now if you like.

The reason I mention them is my having ordered another two of them from Sigma Sport, the cycle people (not to be confused with Sigma Sport, the cycle people). They were £15 GBP (delivered in the UK) each and you can see them here. That's a few pounds less than normal. Just thought I'd give it a mention in case you're thinking of getting one yourself. I'm not on any commission I'm sorry to say.

I also bought one of those b'Twin (aka Decathlon own brand) sleeveless base layers when we were in Decathlon a month or two ago. It was perfectly fine the time I wore it but isn't as good a fit as the Craft base layers and will remain a backup.

As both the Craft base layers I own are in the wash basket (my new ones haven't arrived yet) it's quite possible the b'Twin base layer will get an airing pretty soon. Either that or I could get round to washing stuff.

That's all folks. I hope that information was of some use to you.

ADDENDUM: So much for that. It turns out Sigma Sport didn't even have the base layers in stock (despite listing them as being in stock). I ended up ordering them from Amazon (for £16 GBP apiece) instead. It probably worked out better as Amazon had the black base layers in stock and I prefer them, even though they'll be below a jersey and nobody will see them anyway.

Why cycle?

2011-08-19T11:43:00.007+01:00

I'm far from being an intelligent man. I'm barely a man. From time to time, however, I think (normally whilst seated on the lavatory or partaking in the dreaded lawn mowing). One subject which has recurred, with large gaps on non-thought, over the past ten years or so is 'Why do I cycle?'.

Rather than concentrate on me specifically, it's probably more fair to ask 'Why does anyone cycle?'.

In 'days gone by' the answer was likely to be 'it's a cheap and efficient way for one to get from point A to point B' but that's not why I cycle nowadays. I rarely have anywhere to be and (shame on me) very rarely use a bicycle as a means of transport. To me, it's almost exclusively for recreational enjoyment.

Why then? If it's for exercise, there are many other equally valid and less 'Eek! That car came a bit close to me' activities I could partake in.

I discussed this some years ago when out with a few members of the local CTC. One man, who was obviously capable of deeper thought than me, theorised that the rotational motion of our feet (in addition to attracting angry dogs) may have some 'magical' positive effect upon us. Perhaps we are mildly hypnotised by ourselves into enjoying it? I'm not sure quite how much stock I would put in that theory but he could have been right about the angry dogs.

In response to my earlier 'Why not do a different form of exercise?' question; It's a funny thing. I don't particularly think of cycling as being exercise. I mean, I do but I don't. I'm glad to clear that up. Maybe expanding and explaining myself would help. Yes, of course I realise cycling is doing my body good and I like to do it for those reasons too but it's not like (for me and as an example) running on a treadmill. Running on a treadmill benefits me in a cardiovascular manner but I normally find it a chore as opposed to an enjoyable activity. I can't think of an instance where I've been on a treadmill and thought 'I'm really enjoying this. Perhaps I'll keep going a bit longer than I had originally planned'. With cycling, I'll get home and wonder if I should have 'thrown a loop' in or devised a longer route. That's generally not because I think I should have 'burned more calories' but rather I feel I could have had more fun.

I have wondered if cycling is attractive, in part, because it lets one get out and about looking at scenery and involved in the world without having to be 'too involved'. Definitely the pottering about (my cycling speeds range from 'bonked' all the way up to 'potter'), looking round and admiring the views give one some mental stimulation. I think that could be part of my answer.

Another theory has been put forward by Ned Boulting in his book How I Won the Yellow Jumper (ah, that explains the image at the top). In the chapter Blokes On Bikes (pages 251 to 262) [DON'T READ THIS BIT IF YOU FEEL IT MIGHT SPOIL THAT CHAPTER OF THE BOOK FOR YOU] he suggests it may our association with cycling as children and a desire to recapture our youth [YOU CAN READ THIS AGAIN BUT MIGHT NOT FIND IT INTERESTING]. I think that's a pretty valid point. He could be onto something there. I'm sure he's not the first to consider it. I'm kind of disappointed I didn't think that myself. Maybe I should pretend I did, to myself at least. I could probably eventually convince myself I'd thought that all along.

In summary, at its most basic level, the answer to 'Why cycle?' appears to be 'Because I like it'.

Bicycular baptism

2011-08-18T18:36:00.014+01:00

Despite some tedious inoperative scanner related shipping worries (I'm prone to worrying) my new Sab Alicudi (nah, I'd never heard of them before either) arrived today.

Being an excitable adult child, I couldn't wait to get out and give it a go. After I'd made a few sizing adjusments (the mechanic must have thought my legs were about four inches longer than they are), fitted my GPS, pedals and Elite bottle cages (which also arrived today) out I ventured into the lovely afternoon sun.

The 'lovely afternoon sun' decided not to last 'that' long. At just about the furthest point of my cycle from home, the sun decided to switch places with consistant rain. On the plus side, I got to find out how my new bike handles in the rain. On the 'less than plus' side, I would quite happily have lived out the remainder of my life never knowing how my new bike handles in the rain. Still, let me not dwell on the cold unpleasantries of a cycle soaking and the apologetic drying off of the new bike afterwards. By the way, in case you think I'm joking, I actually did apologise to the inanimate object for getting it wet on its maiden voyage. Hmmm. Probably shouldn't admit to that.

So, what did I think of my new Sab Alicudi?

At first, like any new bike, it took a little getting used to. I'm not sure if it was because the frame is lighter than I'm used to or simply due to the slightly different dimensions each bike will have but it took me a wee while to acclimatise myself to standing when pedalling. What I mean is the bike frame seemed to pivot over left and right more than I was used to (ie. going in a straight line but with the top tube moving, as if in an arced motion, when viewed from the front or rear). I guess you could say it was more responsive in that manner than other bikes I own. To me, it seemed a bit 'jumpy' at first but I seemed to recalibrate myself to allow for that without thinking about it. I'll probably find another bike sluggish by comparison if I'm on it now.

I noticed the difference in having a ten speed compact groupset compared to that of the nine speed I had previously been using. The gears definitely seemed a bit closer. I was able to keep my cadence fairly consistent, moreso than with the nine speed. The 12-25 cassette (as opposed to a 12-27 on the bike I'd been riding recently) probably helped matters too.

Something which surprised me was descending on the Sab. I've got a Coppi (which I'm not even sure exists as a brand any longer) with an aluminium frame and carbon forks. I've never found myself as happy/stable descending on it as on my steel framed bike. That's something I put down, in my ignorance, to the carbon forks. Turns out the Sab descends very well (much better than I do) and seems to excel at higher (by my standards) speeds. I'm absolutely delighted with it when going downhill.

So, in summary, I like my new Sab Alicudi much better than it likes me after taking it out in the rain.

Thoughts of a mildly uninteresting kind

2011-08-16T14:59:00.016+01:00

While partaking in the loathsome boredom of grass cutting, my mind often wanders from the matter in hand and onto more interesting (subjectively) topics. Such was the case today as I was thinking about, among other things, cycling. Who could have guessed?

One thought which entered my head was how windy it was while I was partaking in the grass shortening exercise. That reminded me of my recent change in cycling attire. When it is (what passes for) summer I'd normally wear my bib-shorts with a short sleeved jersey directly over them. Earlier this year, however, I had a bit of a chest problem and was 'laid up' for about two months. This seemed to happen very soon after a cycle. I wondered if the two were related. I still don't know if they were linked but it led to my buying a couple of Craft sleeveless base layers. I haven't had any chest problems since.

Although it seems counter-intuative to wear another layer on a hot day (not that we get a surplus of such here) I've found it beneficial to have a thin base layer on. In my ignorance I feared I might overheat but that hasn't been the case at all. I suppose, if the professionals wear base layers in hot conditions, putting out the effort they do, there almost has to be something in it and the chances of my getting too hot here, at my low speeds, are fairly minimal.

Another topic which popped (or pooped) into my mind was my GPS. I'm continually fascinated by having a GPS on a bicycle. I know it's not especially new technology now but I'm easily impressed and, to me, it's quite the wonder.

I was pleased to discover a simple way to export routes from MapMyRide onto my Edge 800. I had been plotting a course on MapMyRide, exporting it as a '.gpx' file (for some reason it no longer exports directly in the '.crs' format) and then going to GPSies to convert that over to a '.crs' file and uploading that into Garmin Training Centre so I could then upload the course into my Edge. That was all a bit 'clunky' and pointlessly time consuming. Thanks to typing some query I can't remember into Google and clicking on a random website, I now know an easier (and probably obvious to most) way to put courses on my Edge.

All I have to do is save off the '.gpx' file from MapMyRide and copy & paste it into the 'Garmin > New files' folder on the Edge. As if by magic, the GPS does the rest and realises it's a route. It doesn't seem to show elevation in the route but that's only a small downside. For me it's more important to be able to use it for navigation.

As an example of how MapMyRide works, here's a route I just mapped:

&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/46335202"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Slieve Gallion from Ballyronan Marina&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br/&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/?location=Cookstown, United Kingdom"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Find more Cycling Routes / Bike Rides in Cookstown, United Kingdom&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;
On the topic of the Edge 800 and elevation, that's still being a bit of a pain in the bum. A few times now it has got my initial elevation completely wrong. Sometimes it starts me off a couple of hundred (or more) feet below my actual elevation. It keeps count correctly during the cycle but everything is a couple of hundred feet low. It works sometimes and doesn't others. I just need to remember to check and manually set the elevation (which is simple to do in one of the device's menus) if it does go wrong. Sadly, I'm forgetful.

The terribly thorny subject...

2011-08-15T23:52:00.005+01:00

You wait around three years for someone to write a pointless post and then...

I was having a look at an old post I'd written about the British Medical Association trying to make the wearing of cycle helmets a legal requirement. It should be pointed out that's when you're on your bicycle. Not at all times. We can bathe without the need for safety equipment.

The post in question is now over six years old. If the British Medical Association is pushing for this legislation, it hasn't been terribly successful so far. Maybe that's bureaucracy for you and it's still in the pipeline? Whatever the case, I was interested to see what I'd written at the time. What would a young, early thirties, go-getter think of such a premise?

As it turns out, I thought something pretty similar to my opinion nowadays (although I might word it a little differently now). I'd still hope such a law doesn't come into force. Of course the intentions of the BMA (no, not the team Cadel Evans rides for) are good and I applaud them for trying to do something they believe will better humanity in some manner. The people calling for helmet wearing to become law are doing so because they want cycling to be safer for all. They're not terrible ogres who want to do everything they can to destroy cycling in all its forms.

All the same, it's something I continue to feel should be left up to the individual's choice. I can't see any scenario where helmet wearing/not wearing protects or endangers anyone other than the cyclist him or herself.

Some people hate wearing a helmet and may be put off cycling if forced to use one. Chances are that said people aren't regular cyclists (some may be) but the cycling they do could form an important piece of physical exercise in their lives. Perhaps such people might find they enjoy cycling after trying it for a bit. That's pretty much what happened with me. I didn't like wearing a helmet at first, went out on wee scoots on my cheap mountain bike and became hooked on cycling (then stopped for ages and got fat).

It's probably best to try to get people to exercise more. I'd imagine there are more heart attacks etc. through inactivity than injuries caused by not wearing a cycle helmet (although admittedly the former has a considerably larger 'catchment').

That witter was in relation to this post from six years ago. Blimey! How time flies.

Just for the record, I have started to wear a helmet again after a few years of not doing so. Surprisingly, I've found it's fairly comfortable and I forget all about it being on my noggin. The only downside I've noticed is little insects getting caught in the holes and crawling about on top of my head for a while. Even that's just unpleasant but does me no harm.

I even bought myself a new helmet the other day, tried it out for the first time today (which is what had me thinking about this) and, as has been the case, completely forgot it was on my head. Mind you, I also forgot to set our burglar alarm when I was out cycling today so that might say as much about me and my mental deterioration as it does about helmet comfort.

Do we gel?

2011-08-15T15:42:00.019+01:00

Fresh back from a wee cycle with a knee on ice and visions of potholes dancing in my mind, it leads me to ponder whether to use or not to use energy gels?

About half way through my (fairly brief, although not for me and my lack of fitness) cycle I consumed one GU vanilla bean (as opposed to just vanilla flavour apparently) energy gel. Did it help me? Honestly, I don't know. Did it hinder me? Almost definitely not. Did it cost me 67p (rounding up)? Darn tootin' it did and that was at half price special offer prices.

As I mentioned, it seems most likely there's nothing physically detrimental in taking energy gels, other than the potential for tooth decay I'd guess. The question for me is whether they're worth the asking price. I'm merely a recreational cyclist. I don't cycle far and I don't go quickly. I potter along looking all around me and stay indoors when it's wet. Am I wasting my time taking the odd energy gel?

Although I'm only a recreational cyclist, I still don't like to 'bonk' (as people hilariously call it) and I think energy gels have helped prevent that for me in the past. The difficulty is I, of course, have no idea if I would have 'bonked' without the energy gels. If they do some tiny bit of good physically but mentally help me con myself into thinking they're giving me a great boost, perhaps that's enough and makes them worth the money. I honestly don't know. What I do know is I've got twenty-three GU and eighteen High5 (whose ZERO X'treme tablets I've also been using) gels left. I should be able to come to some conclusion by the time they're all done, if I don't have a caffeine overdose.

Perhaps I'm simply one in a long line of suckers.

New bike hurrahs!

2011-08-08T19:53:00.010+01:00

Okay, I haven't got it yet but...

Today I ordered a new bicycle. In an attempt to give me something a little different to my usual trusty vehicle I went for a Sab Alicudi with Shimano 105 groupset.

I ordered it from Merlin Cycles. I have never ordered anything from Merlin Cycles before and hope they turn out to be real and not some internet scamsters. Oh the fool I am!

After having a look around various online shops at fairly similar bikes I thought this seemed to be the best value. Sure I've never heard of Sab and haven't shopped at Merlin Cycles before. What could possibly go wrong?

Assuming everything is 'above board' (which I believe it to be) I should receive my new Sab (for some reason bicycles always seem to be referred to by their frame manufacturer) early next week. Woo hoo! Now all I need is my wonky knee to stop giving me gyp.

I'll have to suffer the awful shame of my new bicycle having last year's version of 105 on it but I think I can live with that. The quality of the wheels (Shimano RS10s) is completely unknown to me. I guess I'll find out what I think of them once I've tried the bike. I looked at them on a couple of random internet forums there; one said "They're rubbish!" and the other said "They're quite decent". Personal experience will let me know. Some people suggested they aren't great for cyclists over about 170 lbs. As I'm under that, I hope they'll be fine for me. Time will tell.

Now, onto that knee. Where can I buy a new one?

Edge 800 etc.

2011-06-04T16:06:00.024+01:00

Hello there (probably non-existent) readers. No prizes for guessing what my boring drivel is about this time. That's right, I bought a Garmin Edge 800 a couple of weeks ago and have finally got to use it, not once but twice! Oh the joys of a summer here (aka two bright days).

Enough weather related griping, what about the Edge 800? Is it any good? In short, yes, it is. I like it very much indeed.

Prior to my recent purchase, I'd been using an Edge 305 for around the last four or five years. I'd found it great but was lured in by the bright lights, colour display and touch screen of the 800. Does the Edge 800 offer much more in functionality when compared with the unit I already had? Probably not, for my purposes anyway. Is it a lot more aesthetically pleasing, user friendly and generally advanced? You betcha! Plus, I got a 'free' (ie. included in the price) Garmin-Cervelo jersey with it. I fell for that one hook, line and sinker.

The easiest and least 'waffly' way for me to express (not in the lactating way) my thoughts on this would be to list its pros and cons, as I see them so far:

PROS:

Touchscreen makes it easier to navigate menus, navigate (oh, a terrible pun) between pages etc. than button pressing had been
Good sized backlit colour screen is easy to read and looks pleasing
Satellite navigation exists in this version (although the Edge 305 was a GPS, it didn't show on screen maps, let one plot routes etc.) but you can see below how I griped about the base map
Battery life (if the gauge is to be remotely believed) seems improved over the Edge 305 despite the more advanced screen etc.
Mounting system for attachment to bicycle seems sturdier than the 305's (not that I experienced any problems with the older version) and 'locks' in a more satisfactory manner
Rubber which covers the ports (for charging/computer connection/SD memory cards) seems a bit sturdier than the 305's was
Slot for memory cards exists. With the Edge 305 it didn't and maps couldn't be 'slotted in'

CONS:

The base map it comes with is practically useless. I had to buy a wee Garmin 'City Navigator' SD card with UK/Ireland information on it. It was only another £25 or so but it's still more money to take into account. Having written that, it's well worth the £25
Although navigation can be set to avoid motorways/dual carriageways, it's not detailed enough (as far as I can tell) to let one avoid the likes of 'A' roads. As such, it can plot routes which go along very busy roads. An option to cut out 'A' roads would be good too. I wouldn't like to trust it to set a route if I was away somewhere and didn't know the roads well
The first time I used it, it took the elevation I left from as sea level even though it was about 500 feet above sea level. As such, the elevation wasn't great for the journey. It was fine as regards knowing I was ascending and descending but I can be fairly sure I wasn't about 400 feet below sea level when it claimed I was
This is very petty and shows quite how much I like the new Edge 800: Due to its nature of touch screen operation, I noticed my greasy fingers smudge it a little. When I wipe the screen with a tissue it (as you would expect) sometimes flits through to another screen/menu/whatever. Having written that, it's possible to lock the unit so it stays on one particular screen until unlocked. Look, I said it was petty. I'm trying to find fault
Again this is very minor but it would have been nice if the Edge 800 had been able to communicate wirelessly with a computer, instead of having to use a USB lead. Having written that, I primarly use the USB connection to charge it and therefore connecting with it is no disadvantage

All in all, it's a smashing GPS for my cycling needs, or appears to be so far. I suppose more use will reveal its strengths and weaknesses to a much greater extent and I look forward to finding them out.

As I don't have any of those fancy ANT+ power meters, I'm in no position to comment about their use with the Edge 800. Sorry. If anyone wants to buy me a fancy ANT+ power meter set, I'll happily try it out.

Time Away

2011-05-16T13:07:00.004+01:00

It's been a while since I wrote anything here. Yep, just over three years I see. That's been down to not having much to say, laziness and a general lack of cycling activity. I've hardly been out cycling whatsoever for the last few years. I suppose I kind of 'fell out of love with it' (if that doesn't sound too pretentious).

I don't know what it's like for other people but I find, if I'm not cycling regularly, it's very easy to slip into a routine of lying around doing little more than watching my belly grow. The longer I stay away from my bicycle, the more weight I put on, the less fit I get and the less pleasant it is the next time I try to cycle. It's a vicious cycle. Oh come on, like I was ever going to not make that pun.

Recently I've got back on my bicycle again and found I've enjoyed it more than I thought I would. This time round I had done a little cardio (that's not a small thin jumper which buttons up the front) on our cross trainer and that seems to have helped somewhat. Obviously it's not the same but I'd shifted a bit of spare weight and my body was used to doing some mild exercise.

As I cycle purely for recreation, it's not like I'm ever pushing myself hard but it's still nice to be able to go for (and this is a completely subjective term) a 'decent cycle'. For some that may necessitate covering at least 200 Km with four first category climbs. For me, it's a rather more modest experience.

Simply being above the level I was when I started cycling for the first time in my adult life (despite now being in my mid-thirties and not mid-twenties) is quite a coup for me, even if that level might be a depressing experience for most.

Anyway, those are my wittery thoughts for the day. I can't imagine they're of much interest to anyone but typing them was something to do with a few minutes of spare time.

Gleefully hypocritical!

2008-04-22T16:09:00.004+01:00

I was just thinking back to when I started cycling again. I don't mean a few weeks ago, after sitting on my arse and getting fatter during the winter. No, I mean in general again. Like a lot of us, I used to cycle as a means of transport when I was a child, learned to drive, stopped cycling and didn't go near or even think of a bicycle for many years. About four or five years ago, I decided (And I still can't think why) I wanted to buy a bicycle for myself. With that in mind, I went along to the nearest large sporting goods type chain store and bought the cheapest adult bicycle they sold. Needless to say, that bicycle is now no longer in use and would be completely inappropriate for my purposes but it is what got me onto the saddle again and showed me how enjoyable cycling could be.

Anyway, as ever, I'm wittering off the main subject. The reason (If you could call it such) for this post is that recently I've been thinking about how much of a hypocrite I've been since I started cycling. One of the first things I remember thinking when I started my recent foray into recreational cycling was 'Pffft! I'll not be wearing any of that lycra'. For starters, thinking 'pffft' is foolish enough in itself but even more silly is not wishing to wear something which would be more comfortable and save my knackers from too much of a jiggling. Needless to say, I had the world's cheapest pair of paper thin lycra shorts a mere few months later. Mind you, I was enough of an idiot to unstitch and remove the chamois because I thought it 'looked silly'. A bright red arse, bruised bollocks and a rash down one's gusset is obviously a thousand times more attractive than a slight bit of padding in one's shorts.

If you've read this far, you may wonder why this came into my head lately. Actually, you probably haven't been wondering that at all but thanks for reading this far. It shows great patience and possibly a little hint of self-abuse. My recent hypocrisy has been twofold. Well, one was a few months ago when I bought team kit to wear. It's something I thought I wouldn't do as I only cycle recreationally and didn't feel I was in a position to wear team kit. However, the vast majority of competitive cyclists who wear team kit probably aren't in CSC, Liquigas etc. themselves and I do enjoy cycling as a sport to watch on TV and be amazed by. The lat bastion of stubbornness was truly crushed only a matter of days ago when I began wearing those, slightly silly but very comfortable, useful and kind of cute in a goofy way, little cycle caps. They're something I had snidely scoffed at in the past. After all, I do know best and all that, don't I? What do you know? It turns out that's not the case and people wear certain cycling clothing for practical purposes and not so much for the aesthetics.

In summary, I've been a hypocritical oaf and am glad I'm no longer the snide sneerer I once was. Long live the slightly silly looking cycle cap. Let the fools laugh all they want as the peak protects me from a diet of greenfly.

Twat?

2007-09-14T17:52:00.000+01:00

Am I a money wasting twat? I broke a spoke in the rear wheel of my Xero Tarmac XBR-1 wheels, took it to be fixed (After not being able to get a 'proper' replacement spoke, but I'll get to that later) and got it back all nicely trued. I went out a couple of times on the bike, noticed a clicking noise and a loose spoke, thought 'I'll tighten that a little. Not much but just enough so it isn't quite so loose', discovered doing so puts a wheel completely out of true and then had the very lovely wheel building man point out a crack in the rim to me. Aaargh!

When I got home from collecting the wheel, I rushed into buying a pair of Mavic Ksyrium Elite wheels (Last year's version, on offer at Chain Reaction) and have since ordered a replacement Xero Tarmac XBR-1 rim from Parker International. I've switched the sprockets over from the Xero wheel to the new Mavic one and put the new wheels on my bicycle but this means I'll have a spare wheelset once I get the Xero rear wheel rebuilt. Rather than spending the £240 odd it was for the Mavics, I could have been patient and waited for the £56 (Including shipping) Xero rim to arrive, have the wheel built and stuck it on. Have I done something a bit stupid?

I don't have another bike I could use a ten speed Campagnolo wheel on, so it's not like I can upgrade a different bike by putting the wheels on it. What it does give me, I guess, is a spare wheelset if anything happens to the Mavics and likewise for my good laydee (Whose bicycle currently has Xero Tarmac XBR-1s on it anyway). I thought that maybe I should put different gearing on each wheel and that might be of use but, realistically, it wouldn't advantage me greatly. I like having the gears I already did, find the spacing between gears fine and would miss the lowest gears if I didn't have them.

Getting onto the spoke annoyance; It took ages for me to get a replacement spoke for the broken one on my Xero rear wheel. Even when I did get a replacement, it was only because the guy in the bike shop I got it from cut down a longer spoke and threaded it himself. They're round cross-section straight-pull spokes (ie. They're not bladed and they don't have a 90 degree bend in them at the hubs) in anodised black. The replacement, alas, is silver as it appears DT Swiss isn't too forthcoming in getting such replacement spokes out to people. I'm not moaning about them. I can understand there are so many variables in the world of spokes, it's exceptionally difficult to try to get every variety of spoke available to everyone. All I wish is that I can get a 'proper' replacement spoke for my Xero wheel. If you know of any spare black, round cross-section, 276mm, straight pull, 14/15g gauge, DT Competition spokes knocking about, please don't be backward in letting me share your knowledge.

From putting the Ksyriums on today, I've got to say they seem quite impressive. They appear to be very true and I thought moved more freely than other wheels I've owned. Hopefully this will continue to be the case when my fat arse is on the saddle and they have to suffer the applicable stresses and strains. I hope they're strong wheels and can take some ropey surfaces and possibly the odd light bit of 'pannierage' (No camping for me if I get away, just B&Bs and the like). The Xeros did well and the spoke only broke because I was forgetful, let the hook at one side of the fold down mini-panniers on my rack pack get into the spokes and then cycled a few yards causing it to pull at the spokes. I think that might be what damaged the rim too but I could be wrong.

Hmmm, I wonder if I should use the Xeros as touring wheels and the Mavics for general usage? At least I might get some use from both wheelsets? Then again, the Mavics seem as if they're probably better and I would like to use them when I can.

When I was changing over the wheelset today, I obviously had to put the sprockets on the new Mavic rear wheel. It was astounding quite how minging the cassette had got. What was good about it being a Campagnolo (I just can't bring myself to write 'Campag'. To me, it's like someone who owns a BMW talking about a 'Beamer' or a Cannondale rider referring to their 'Dale'. There's something distasteful about it which sticks in my craw) cassette is that all the sprockets are indeed individual sprockets as opposed to a block made up of numerous sprockets. It let me wipe each of the sprockets and their spacers clean and put a shiny (New looking but old and soon to be replaced) cassette on my new wheel. The sprockets had been completely black with filth. I'm sure that can't be good for the bike either. It then led to my taking the chain off to stick in a tub of petrol (I'll oil it well afterwards, don't worry) and disassembling the right crank and chainrings to give them a thorough clean too. Oh, and I used a bit of cloth to 'floss' the jockey arm and wheels. The muck they gather up is incredible. My bicycle should be lovely and clean for its next journey. I'll have to take a photo.

Going off a bit, I've been using MapMyRide quite a bit since the last babble I did and it's great. About the only problems I've noticed with it are:

It shows some roads which don't really exist. They may be 'rights of way' but there's no means of cycling along them and it's best to check with an Ordnance Survey map whilst putting the route in. Most roads it has a name on should be okay but it's still worth checking as it claimed one 'named' road existed when it didn't with me.
Make sure you don't go too far ahead when clicking the 'next point'. I've done that, assuming the route will automatically follow the road it's already on, but it can backtrack and then go along a main road or the like because it's a bit shorter. It also has a tendency to go along 'make believe' roads when one gets too far ahead so that's one to keep an eye on.

It really is a marvellous piece of free software and I can't recommend it highly enough. On the off-chance the people involved with it ever read this (They would need to be patient and not easily bored) thank you very much.

On that note, I've realised quite how much I've been going on and should stop. Thanks for reading this and hopefully you'll have been remotely interested in some ramblings, although I doubt it.

MapMyRide

2007-08-26T12:34:00.002+01:00

I'm very impressed with MapMyRide.com. For starters, I obviously like the fact it's free as I'm a cheapskate but that's not the be all and end all. I've used a few different free GPS course creators and MapMyRide.com seems far and away the best. The map coverage is very good of the area I live in and contains most of the fiddly little roads I like to cycle on but not every map shows. As you can imagine, that's a real pain with a lot of them. I would be plotting routes out for my GPS unit and find they kind of disappeared part of the way through and I had to guess where some roads were. It didn't make for accurate mapping.

Something else I really really really like about MapMyRide.com is the ability to set it to follow the roads between points. I'm probably not explaining this well but basically it means I can put down a two consecutive points along a road and the software is smart enough to draw the squiggly line in between, along which the path of the road actually goes. In the past, I found myself having to draw dozens and dozens of points to follow the shape of the road but thankfully that's a thing of the past. I can even put points a couple of roads apart and MapMyRide.com seems smart enough to usually grasp the way I want to go. This means it takes, I estimate, less than a quarter of the time it used to for me to map out cycle routes. It's also more enjoyable than merely 'clicking' hundreds of waypoints down. Hopefully it will save me from all the 'Off route' messages I kept getting with my self-done waypoints, especially once I got lazy and bored towards the end of a route.

Another bonus worthy of mention is that MapMyRide.com lets one export a copy of the route as a 'CRS' file. As I've got a Garmin Edge GPS unit, that's very handy. The software (Called 'Training Center') their Edge units use doesn't work well with a number of standard GPS formats ('GPX' files, for example). You can get it to work but it means downloading other software to convert the files over so Training Centre understands it. Thankfully, with MapMyRide.com, this is not a problem. It exports the files in a manner Training Centre and my Edge both understand. I know this doesn't sound like much but it makes things so much easier than pissing about with different file types and attempting (Often failing through my ineptitude) to convert them. By the way, if you do need to convert files for your GPS unit, I recommend looking at this topic here, even if it gets a bit much and might send you to sleep. You can probably find most of what you want to know if the first couple of posts.

Anyway, another little mention MapMyRide.com deserves is for letting you print out a list of the directions on the route you've created. This is marvellous. I used to spend ages writing out big lists of 'TL at TJ, SO at XR etc. etc' and now I shouldn't have to as MapMyRide.com automatically does that when you 'map your ride'. How wonderful! The two pains in the arse for me in devising a route have been covered by MapMyRide.com. No longer will I have to clickety-clickety-click a little series of waypoints vaguely following the contours of a road and no longer will I waste time away writing directions for the cycle I'm planning on. What a super piece of free software it is. I hope it continues to be free and as good as it seems.

So macho!

2007-08-09T22:18:00.000+01:00

Whilst I might not be quite the heaving mass of muscle the young gentleman, pictured to the left, is I'm feeling pretty damned manly.

My 'stand in while I've got a broken spoke in my main bike' trusty Peugeot had been giving me a bit of gyp. For starters it's not a great bike but, worse still, the top gear wasn't working and I couldn't understand why.

Yesterday, I tried putting it in the workstand (Already feeling pretty manly at this point purely for owning a workstand) and had a fiddle with the little limit bolts on the rear derailleur, which control how far the derailleur is allowed to move. It turned out that wasn't the problem but rather the chain just wouldn't sit in the top gear no matter what the derailleur's positioning was. I knew it wasn't the chain as it was fairly new and worked perfectly in the other gears. You can see I'm using my super-sleuthing skills here as the Sherlock Holmes of the cycling world.

Here's the bit which made me feel all manly and mechanical. I took the Shimano Tiagra rear derailleur off. No, don't faint with excitement now as there's more. I then put a Shimano Sora rear derailleur on and (This is the bit I've been leading up to) it didn't make things worse. Of course, the chain still wouldn't sit in the top gear but my being able to take a part off a bike, replace it and not have the bicycle any worse off as a result is quite a coup for me. By the way, bike nerds, the reason I replaced the Tiagra (Nine speed groupset) with a Sora (Eight speed groupset) derailleur is that it's only got RSX (Seven speed groupset) on it and it was easy enough to get the Sora derailleur working with it.

As I was already feeling pretty cocky and confident with my derailleur 'success' I took out the back wheel, removed the cassette, gave the smallest cog and freehub a wipe, stuck it all back together again and amazingly it worked fine. Funnily enough, that's not the bit which I'm all chuffed about. It's being able to take the derailleur off and replace it properly (The bike now changes gears more crisply than it possibly ever did for me) which I'm pleased with.

When I first got back on a bike (After many years of laziness from learning to drive and no longer using a bicycle for transport) it was as much as I could do to change an inner tube in the front tyre. Taking the back wheel off was a terrible problem for me (I didn't realise about that whole thing of putting the chain in the two littlest cogs and how that helps when putting it back on). You can see why it's been a reasonable improvement for me. Other than truing and building wheels, I'll give pretty much any fairly standard bike maintenance a go now. I'm not saying I'll be successful with it but I'll give it a go. Now I've got three dodgy bottom brackets to replace. Thank you for reading this borefest and please wish me luck...

My bumhole loves chamois cream

2007-08-02T23:32:00.001+01:00

I've been thoroughly useless altogether when it comes to writing in this blog thing. Look at the last time I wrote. May for gawd sake! Whilst I don't imagine many people read my witterings or are 'chomping at the bit' to bask in the glow of my wonderous knowledge, it's still very slovenly of me and I apologise. Anyway, enough of that, now onto the particularly tasteful and tasty subject of my bottom...

For anyone who has been on a bicycle (Which I'm sure covers the majority of us) the jacksee is close to our hearts. Obviously our posteriors aren't particularly close to our hearts in a literal sense but I imagine you know what I mean. We'll obsess about getting a comfortable chamois in our shorts and a suitable saddle but, until recently, the notion of chamois cream seemed pointless to me. I have to admit I was wrong in ignoring this. We recently purchased a trio of Portia chamois cream squeezy tub type things and I've found them super.

Luckily (And through being anal about anal hygiene) I've lived my life without any bum infections, fistulas, abscesses etc. but thought I would give chamois cream a go just to make sure something like that doesn't happen in the near future. Well, apart from that element, I've found the chamois cream a great discovery (Especially as it's dead cheap). As a big plus, it seems to lessen that horrendous smell one gets round one's gusset when out cycling for any vague length of time but, more importantly, I feel a bit fresher and comfier than I did without it. My combination of chamois cream, shorts and saddle seems to have been protecting my rear pretty well and I'm going to sing to the world about it. Maybe not sing exactly but I think it's good and I'll mention it to the handful of unfortunates who happen to chance upon here. Having never used more expensive brands of chamois cream, I've no idea how the cream I have been using compares but it seems pretty good and my arse likes it very much.

Thank for reading about this rather unpleasant subject. Maybe I should leave it another two months before writing again...

Moaning pain in the arse

2007-05-24T11:26:00.001+01:00

Me being a moan about nothing? Surely not. This time my grump is about the new Eurosport/Yahoo website. I've got to say (Well, I don't 'have' to but I'm going to) I'm not greatly impressed. I know the information is all still there but it looks 'cheaper' than the Eurosport site did before Yahoo got in on the act. 'Cheaper' might seem like a stupid word to use when they were free anyway but I'm sure you know what I'm getting at.

Whilst on the subject of Eurosport, has anyone been watching the Giro? Blimey but there's a lot of falling over and sliding about in it. It's both scary and tantalising viewing. I don't want to see anyone get hurt and yet I can't draw myself away from watching the poor buggers slipping about all over the roads of Italy. Obviously I'm overdoing it somewhat there and there has only been a few major falls but they've been spectacular and poor Paolo Bettini has had the misfortune to get caught up in more than one simply by having someone right in front of him hit the deck. Ouch! Oddly enough, I think a Tinkoff cyclist may have been involved in the main two crashes I can think of. I could be wrong but I think that's the case. Oh, hang on. I am wrong. I think it was a Tinkoff cyclist who went down first yesterday (The finish line crash) but the big spill the other day was initiated by the Liquigas rider who was in the pink jersey at the time (Was it Gasparotto?). Silly me! Sorry Tinkoff.

I wouldn't fancy taking the tumbles some pro cyclists seem to be able to. Come to think of it, I'm sure they don't 'fancy' it much themselves. I think they probably go (Literally) about twice the speed I would (And at least twice the distance on any given stage/race day, racing up mountains I would get tired driving up) anyway so my likelihood of falling and injuries from it is probably considerably lower. So I hope. I did have a skid (At very low speed) along the road a few months ago and got a really itchy bruise from it. More annoyingly, the side of my pedal got all scraped. In good news (As has happened the couple of times I've come off) my bib-tights were perfectly fine. I didn't want to be in that situation where one's arse is hanging out the back. It's rather unseemly.

More tandem thoughts

2007-04-19T11:32:00.000+01:00

I know I'm being a complete stuck record here but I've been obsessing over our tandem a bit since we decided to get it. If anything, I'm a little less obsessive than I was when we had just got it and I was sprucing it up a reasonable amount. However, I'm still going to blabber on and bore you, as usual.

This time I thought I would share my initial thoughts with 'tandeming' (Tandemming? Is it even a word?) with you 'lucky' people. As with all my posting, I'm absolutely certain you'll find this positively enthralling reading. Here goes...

Being a highly strung type, I was kind of nervous about going on the tandem for the first time. I was fine when I took it out on my own to make sure everything was working (I thought it better to test the brakes etc. with only one person at risk) but was practically hyperventilating when it came to Kirby Girl joining me.

Despite my earlier claims to be a nervous creature, I was surprised by this response but, thankfully, it passed pretty quickly and we set off on our shaky first tandem ride (As covered three posts below). Getting towards the point of this, I have noticed the main problems in tandem riding seem to be from nerves, rather than any physical inadequacies.

It seems a lot easier for the Captain (Person at the front) to acclimatise oneself to tandem riding than the Stoker (Person at the back, as you would have worked out even if you didn't know). I don't know if I could 'stoke' as I'm so pushy and set in my ways. The Stoker has to put complete trust in his or her Captain and try to remain fairly loose and limber at all times. Initially, for anyone used to riding solo, there's a real tendency for the Stoker to attempt to steer and this causes a surprising amount of nuisance for the Captain. Even though the Stoker's bars are only attached to the Captain's seatpost, the action of tugging at them can almost shunt the tandem round. As you can imagine, that's something which needs to be remedied and only more cycling and confidence can fix it. Thankfully we seem to have reduced that considerably. Initially it was a real annoyance but now it's very rare and doesn't play much of a factor at all, even though we've only 'tandemed' five times together. It's good to see such annoyances disappear so quickly into insignificance. I must credit my very patient and considerate Stoker with doing an excellent job in that regard. So-called Captain or no, I'm sure she has felt like shoving me off the tandem more than once before now.

Just to mention, we've noticed motorists continue to be more considerate when we're on the tandem, as opposed to solo bikes. I really don't think this is something we've simply imagined as it seems to continue. Hopefully it'll stay that way. It also makes for a talking point when we're stopping to ask for directions or generally chatting with strangers somewhere. I guess you don't see too many of them around. I can't think of many I've seen around the roads of this country. Maybe four at most in my memory. Well, five including us.

I briefly mentioned about communication a post down. It really is important for the ~~twat at the front~~ Captain to let the ~~poor bullied~~ Stoker know what's going on. I'm a bit useless that way and let Kirby Girl know there was a bump when we have just passed over it rather than forewarning her of them. That's probably not very good and she most likely realises there had been a bump from the pain in her knickers.

Something nice for our Stoker was when we were down along a road at the shore of the nearby lough (aka 'lake') yesterday. It was full of clouds of flies and they all hit the Captain (Climbing round my eyes despite having cycling glasses on) whilst the Stoker pretty much made it out fly free. See, 'stoking' isn't all bad.

I know I'm going off at a tangent a bit here but I'm writing like I think and apologise for doing so. Before we got our tandem people had told me they were great on the flat and downhills but terrible uphill. I don't know if it's because I'm so bad at climbing normally on a solo bike but I think the tandem isn't really too bad. We're not at the point of standing on the pedals yet (Which means we're both sore by the time we get home and don't rest our 'loins' enough) but the gears are low enough for us to eventually grind our way up any hill we've come across so far (Other than the once when it wouldn't go into the 'granny ring' and some man stepped out in front of us, although we've been up that hill since easily enough without pedestrians) and some, whilst short, have been steep wee buggers. I think the lowest gear is 26 at the front and 34 at the back. That's pretty much as low a gear as I could manage. Anything less than that and I don't know if I could spin quickly enough to keep the bike upright. Kirby Girl has helped immensely on the hills too. There are times when I'm completely knackered and her endurance is enough to save me and push over the top of the hill. Phew! That was kind of the point I got off terribly, that you can take it in turns going uphill. One of you can lay off a little and let the other do most of the pushing then change round and it works well. It's surprising how quickly and naturally one gets into doing such things, without verbally having to announce one is going to. It's kind of the same with coasting and pedalling. Initially I was announcing when we were going to pedal and coast but then we decided to try not doing so and it turned out fine. All along we didn't really need to know. Again, I think it was just another nervous/confidence thing we thought we had to do.

Oh, before I go, if you're looking at the way Sheldon Brown recommends getting on and off a tandem on his website, I'm sure it works great and makes a lot of sense for some people but I found it really difficult. We just put our right feet in the pedals, count down '3-2-1 Go!' and set off and that seems to work simply and effectively for us. I don't know how well it would work if our cranks weren't synchronised but they are and, by fortunate coincidence, we both start pretty much identically on solo bikes anyway. I'm in no way saying there's anything wrong with the Sheldon Brown method (It makes a lot of sense and should suit a lot of people very well) just that it was awkward for us and there are other ways to set off safely on a tandem. By all means, try the method Sheldon Brown suggests first (He's working from some considerable experience and knowledge after all) and I hope it works for you but don't forget there are other options to you if it doesn't feel comfortable or natural.

That should cover my enormous rant for the time being. Sorry for boring you.

Spot the difference

2007-04-13T13:02:00.000+01:00

It's not actually a 'spot the difference' competition at all (Although I'll be impressed by your bothering to if you can spot them and comment to let me know. Oh what joy! If you do, I might actually send you something for the effort) but rather the latest photo of our tandem.

Giving away one/two differences, you'll probably notice the new saddles and seatposts on the tandem. They are a step up over the dirty old pieces of crud which were there originally. When removing the original seatposts, it turned out there was only about an inch and a half to two inches of seatpost in the Stoker's seat tube. Thankfully there were no problems whatsoever but it's a bit of a scary discovery and I'm glad to have a shiny (Albeit cheap) 4oomm post in there instead. The Captain's wasn't as bad, due to the longer seat tube, but it's good to have a new post there also (Even though the Stoker's stem scratched it to buggery when I was putting the bars on).

The San Marco Rolls saddles (Also cheap) are considerably more comfortable than the saddles we replaced and that's great given how much time I find I spend sitting down on a tandem. As yet, we're not at a stage where we're comfortable pedalling whilst standing. I'm sure it'll happen in time but we'll build up to it and enjoy doing so. My gusset thanked me for the new saddles and I thanked it back for not hurting me. What a lovely pair we make.

That's our tandem pretty much done, other than the usual replacement of parts and general maintenance. Hopefully we will get to enjoy many miles of pleasure on it over the coming months and years into the future.

We're already making improvements in our tandem cycling (Although I still grump, bitch and moan constantly at my poor stoker) in terms of communication, speed and general enjoyment of cycling on it. Oh, one great thing I noticed on it is drivers seem to give us more space on the tandem than they would on two solo bikes. At first I thought I might have been looking for it and possibly imagining it but we've been out on the tandem a few times now and it seems to be the case. I wonder if they think we're eccentric (That's not in relation to bottom bracket sheathes) fools and take enough pity on us not to run us over? Maybe they think we're (And I use this cliched expression in mockery) 'cycle Nazis' when we're on solo bikes? Whatever the case, I'm glad to (Normally, although there are still inconsiderate twats) get more space and a lower risk of being killed. Hurrah!

Thanks for reading.

Lidl is good

2007-04-02T17:25:00.000+01:00

If you live in Northern Ireland, you may be pleased to find Lidl is doing its 'every so often' run of cycling stuff from Thursday the 5th of April.

There doesn't seem to be any of their cheap clothing but I've noticed they often seem to bring something into their 'illustrious' middle aisle and then follow it up with something, normally a little more expensive, in a similar vein a couple of weeks later. If there's any truth to my theory, don't be surprised if they've got a bit more cycling palaver in reasonably soon.

Anyway, what impressed me most was their Cycling Computer with Heart Rate Monitor for £12-99 [GBP]. What a steal! If you ignore the moral thoughts of how little the people making these are getting paid and what their working conditions must be like, it's excellent. I don't think you could even buy a Polar heart strap for that money. Whilst I'm sure 'Tronic' might not be the most amazing make, I recall buying a couple of cycle computers of that brand from Lidl before and I couldn't notice an awful lot of difference between them and the basic models of Cateye computers I was using at the time. Their (The 'Tronics') only bad point was I had to take the backs off them to put a battery in as they didn't have a battery slot. Eventually I think I broke one of them doing that. However, my clumsiness must take at least part of the blame for that.

By the way, in other news, we were out for a quick thirty odd miles of a scoot on our tandem yesterday and we're both alive and still speaking to one another. That's a good start. Something I did notice however is that I've to pedal a lot more on the tandem than a solo bike. Coasting isn't something I can get away with so readily as I've to be in sync with my 'Stoker'. My legs still wanted to pedal hours later. Imagine what it'll be like after a journey of twice yesterday's or more. I'll be pedalling in my sleep.

Maiden voyage

2007-03-31T18:38:00.000+01:00

Although it was time consuming and I had a couple of little setbacks, I managed to work round them and get the tandem reasonably roadworthy. All I've got left to do is get new seatposts (So I can fit them and the San Marco Rolls saddles rather than the fairly horrid saddles currently there) and a little bar mounted friction lever for controlling the Arai drum/drag brake.

We ordered two different sizes of seatposts and both were too small. Therefore, we ended up returning them and it's too much of a pain to keep doing that. We'll get the posts or inside of the tubes measured and try to order the right size this time. That will be good as I dislike both the seatposts on it now and the saddles attached to them. All being well, we'll have it totally refurbished by this time next week. It's all very exciting for me.

Today was our tandem test ride and what a day to pick. The weather was fantastic, probably the best this year. In bib-shorts and a longsleeve jersey I was very warm indeed, bald head uncovered and everything. Despite some nerves, we got a little ten miles of scooting about on our tandem (Although the first four were me alone testing the gears, brakes etc.) and it seemed okay. Sure it wasn't perfect and we've both quite a bit to get accustomed to but we will with time and it'll be great once we're more comfortable on it. Long may our tandem cycling continue.

What a difference three days makes

2007-03-29T10:35:00.000+01:00

I'm just off the phone with SJS Cycles and am pleased to say the girl I was speaking to this time was very pleasant. Hoorah! Being the fickle and short memoried beast I am, I can now like them a bit more. Anyway, the reason I was ringing them was to see about getting something to control the tandem's Arai drag brake. The first item I saw was this which, so long as it's the right size, would definitely do the job. However, I'm a tight-fisted miser and didn't want to shell out £40 [GBP] for it when I've already got a spare set of decent downtube shifters. In phoning SJS, I was pointed in the direction of these. Again it all depends on the diameter of my handlebars but I could get them (And a barrel adjuster) and use one of the shifters I've already got. I know it'll probably only be a couple of pounds less than the unit I linked to above but somehow it seems like I'm getting more for my money. I guess it would give me a spare if anything happens to the drag brake lever I would be attaching.

In other progress, I've got my new brakes, brake levers, grips (Which will have to come off and back on again once I get a drag brake lever), shifters, cabling, cable stops and cable housing attached and ready to be adjusted and my wheels are both in for rebuilding with shiny new spokes. Hopefully they be with me sometime around the weekend and I can get adjusting the components/swearing profusely at how mechanically inept I am. I've also got my wheels, tubes, rim tape, saddles and computer ready to go once everything else is in place. I got the seatposts I had ordered but, alas, I had ordered the wrong size so back they went and another order was placed. Hopefully these seatposts will fit or it'll be the same all over again. In the meantime, I guess I could use the crappy seatposts on it but I'm not fond of them at all. Oh, just remembered, I could do with sticking a pannier rack on it too.

Just totalling up the stuff I bought specifically for the tandem (And that doesn't include the £350 [GBP] we paid for it or the saddles, pedals, pannier rack, wheel rebuilding or bits we already had) we've already spent£250.94 [GBP]. That's turning out less cheap than I may have hoped. Still, hopefully it'll be semi-decent and equivalent to a tandem at least twice that combined price.

There you go. I hope you're as suitably excited to read all that as I imagine you would be.

Cursed?

2007-03-26T16:07:00.000+01:00

I don't know whether I'll be doing as much cursing as I thought in assembling some of our tandem parts or whether I'm just cursed when it comes to tandems.

When buying our tandem, the guy selling it gave us a pair of what I would call 'cable stops'. I'm not sure if that's the correct name or not but they're the bits which screw on near the top, at each side of the downtube for the gears' (I think. I'll be sure to check before running the cabling through) cable housing to 'finish off' in. I know I should have checked when we were getting them but it turns out he gave me two right-sided 'cable stops' rather than one of each.

I phoned the surly customer 'service' buggers at SJS Cycles this morning and they were able to add these to my existing order but it was an unpleasant experience speaking to them and I'll not be going there again in a hurry unless I've no other options (Which may well be the case with tandem parts). Don't get me wrong. It's not the shop SJS Cycles which is the problem. It appears to be good and stocks some great stuff difficult to find elsewhere but, to say the least, their telephone operators could be a little more civil. They definitely don't entice one to wish to ring them again with their unfriendly surly attitude. It's a shame really as the shop itself, as I mentioned, is good. Maybe I just caught them on an off day.

It seems also that Wiggle doesn't have one of the cheap seatposts we ordered in stock and will have to put in an order for it. That means my poor Stoker, Kirby Girl, is going to have to make do with an old seatpost for a while, unless Wiggle hurries on with getting the other one in. I know that sounds selfish, with me getting the new seatpost, but it makes more sense doing it that way. The Captain's seatpost is going to have the Stoker's bars and a bottle cage mount on it and I can't be assed taking them off and putting them on again.

On further inspection of the tandem, it seems there's a bit of undesirable motion in both bottom brackets. I think it's not enough to worry hugely about at the moment but it's certainly something to prepare for in the future. I've never changed the bottom bracket on a solo bike let alone a tandem. I hope it's easy. By the way, does anyone know if a tandem uses standard chains and what 'speed' of chain should be used for the left side?

Post 100: Tandem riding here we come

2007-03-24T20:04:00.000Z

Well, there it is, our new tandem (If you left-click on the picture I think it'll show you a bigger version) in our messy garage. It's new to us but it sure as hell ain't new to the world. We just picked it up today and discovered the brakes aren't working (They just need adjusted) and three of the spokes in the rear wheel are broken so it was out with the wheel, over to our local wheelbuilder's (Who is a marvellous man for such things in all ways; speed, pleasantness, quality and price). He's going to completely respoke the rear wheel for us for a mere twelve pounds and hopes to have it done within four days. That's pretty bloomin' great service!

The frame and rims on the tandem seem pretty good and I reckon the wheels will be fine once they're respoked. At the moment, the front wheel seems okay so we'll not get new spokes on it until they start snapping. Hopefully that will be later rather than sooner.

The seatposts were of that variety where the bit the saddle connects to is a separate part held on by friction, rather than the sort I'm used to. I'm probably not describing it very well but I hope you know what I mean. Anyway, I didn't like them so I've ordered two new seatposts for it. Hopefully they'll be just dandy and I'll find I've ordered the right size. I did measure them but only with a steel rule so I'm not likely to be spot on to tenths of a millimetre.

I felt a bit bad slicing off the old bar grips. There was nothing actually wrong with them and they seemed in perfect condition but we have bought new ones and they're better. Four perfectly good grips chucked in the bin (Which was a cardboard box rather than a proper bin).

The tyres on the tandem were only 28mm thick (And the flipping inner tubes said 20/23mm on them!) so I've ordered some 32mm Schwalbe Marathon Pluses (As mentioned in my previous post). I've read some online tandem nerds rate the Marathon Pluses, so I hope we'll find them good too. Isn't it a bugger trying to get tyres off a tandem? I cut my knuckle open attempting to do so. Funnily enough, it wasn't terrible getting the first side of the tyre off the rim but the 'following' side wouldn't come easily. I imagine it'll be a nightmare trying to get the new tyres on when we get them. Hopefully that means they'll stay on well.

Earlier this evening I ordered some V-brakes and a 7 speed 'shifter pod'. I'm sure I'll be doing some swearing trying to get everything working when it all arrives. After much anger and frustration, everything should eventually come together and we'll have a reasonably pleasant tandem to ride.

So I don't forget, here's a list of the stuff we're changing:

San Marco Rolls saddles instead of the saddles already there (Euch! Sweaty arses!)
Respoke wheel(s)
SRAM brake levers
New seatposts (I can't be sure of the manufacturer but I think it was Push. They were cheap anyway)
Avid V-brakes
Replace gear and brake cabling and cable housing
New bottle cages (Highly important obviously. Strangely, there's only a single cage on it) and funny wee bottle cage holder which fits onto a seatpost
Shimano STX shifters
Ergon bar grips
TorTec pannier rack
New pedals (Can't remember what makes)
Sigma Sport BC1600 computer (Hopefully I'll be able to get the cadence to work with it)

I think that's it. That probably pushes it to about my limit when it comes to bicycle maintenance and that sort of gubbins. The only other thing I had thought of was getting some sort of cable disc brake for it but I need to know what would be suitable for the rear hub currently on the bike. Hopefully I'll find the drum brake currently on it is better than I imagine it might be.

All being well, we should have the tandem ready to use by this time next week. Wish me luck!

Tandem boredom update

2007-03-17T12:16:00.000Z

As with all blogs on th'internet, this one ain't especially interesting to anyone other than the bugger who wrote it. It's just as well I'm the only person who ever looks near it then I guess.

After having to return our wonky tandem, we've agreed to buy a second-hand one from a bloke who owns a bike shop vaguely locally and should be collecting it towards the end of next week.

Our tandem to be is not a new bike by any stretch of the imagination and is a triple (Of course) seven speed with a Reynolds 531 (Hurrah!) frame (With a 'ladies' bit at the back, which seems slightly pointless as most woman aren't likely to be wearing dresses or skirts whilst cycling), downtube shifters and flat bars with a quill 'rising' stem. It's got an Arai drum brake at the back (Which I might change sometime in the future if I find it's not particularly good) and those cantilevers most touring bikes seem to have. I'm not especially enamoured with such brakes in my experiences with them and may stick some V-brakes on it instead. I'm hopefully (Naively?) assuming they will simply slot into the same holes on the frame currently resided within by the calipers. Obviously we'll stick new saddles on it immediately too. We've no desire to get other people's bum sweat stinking us up.

I've bought some new Ergon bar grips and SRAM brake levers for the tandem already (Presumptuously, as we don't have it yet), all from Chain Reaction. Just on that subject, I recommend Chain Reaction very highly. I know we live within about thirty miles of them and that must help but I seem to get nearly all my stuff the day after I've ordered it and that can include ordering in the afternoon. Their customer services is excellent too and I can't say enough in their favour. By the way, they're not paying me. This is all purely 'satisfied customer gushing'. Now where was I? Oh, that's right, I was going to mention about the downtube shifters et al. I've not used a downtube shifter on a bike for quite some years now. I think I was about thirteen the last time I used a bike with downtube shifters for any longer than a few minutes. To be honest, I'm not a great fan of them and hope I can put little 'stops' in where they are and use some mountain bike shifters instead. There seems to be quite a range of seven speed (Well, twenty-one speed I guess) mountain bike shifters out there and it should work with the low gearing of the tandem. That's the theory anyway. Wish me luck!

I reckon the quill stem might get changed with an Ahead type converter at some point too and the tyres could find themselves making way for some Schwalbe Marathon 32mm efforts as I've only heard good things about them and the Continentals (Which we use on our solo bikes and I rate very highly) currently on it look a bit on the skinny side for tandem usage. I'm sure they can find a home on one of our other bikes. Eventually, I've got an inkling the (700c) wheels might get changed to a different, newer model too but that's all for thought in the future. If everything works well and safely as is, not much will be getting changed at all. I'll stick up a photo of the tandem when we get it. It's not exactly a glamorous bike to look at but it should function.

Hopefully we will find everything to our satisfaction and get many many hours of happy tandeming. Here goes tandem experiment part 2...

Update

2007-03-05T18:08:00.000Z

I know this is of no interest to anyone but I feel I hadn't finished off the previous post very well. It turned out the tandem we had bought was a bit buggered so we returned it and got our money back. We should be going to look at a, considerably cheaper, second-hand tandem sometime this week. Keep your fingers crossed for us please.

Oh for fu...

2006-12-23T15:58:00.000Z

We got our tandem replacement rear wheel (Delivered by the customary surly twat) on Thursday (Three weeks and six days after returning it) put it in the bike, pumped it up, set the bike on the ground and immediately got a puncture due to the rim tape being so pathetic. Aaargh!

Yesterday, we made a trip to get some spare inner tubes and new cloth rim tape. I applied the rim tape last night, pumped the wheels up and waited for today's cycle excitedly (And with a little bit of nervousness). Today, we got up, got all our cycling clobber on and prepared to go out for a cycle on our new unused tandem. The one side SPD/one side platform pedals I bought didn't seem to want me to clip into them so I took them off and replaced them with some single sided pedals I already had and we got ready for the off. What a friggin disaster!

I knew it might be tough trying to cycle on a tandem for the first time but the bloody thing must be totally buggered. We couldn't even freewheel about fifty metres without the violent shunting of the back wheel causing us to almost fall off (And this was at only about 10mph). Stopping it was a ropey manouver too. There seems to be something seriously wrong with this bicycle. Surely we should have been able to freewheel at low speeds without feeling like we're going to fall off all the time and having the bike moving about of its own accord?

Given all the problems we've had with this tandem, at times it makes me feel like I'm going a bit mental. I would dearly love just to have it all sorted out and be able to get out on it, especially as it was the only Christmas present we had got one another.

Filth!

2006-12-05T22:01:00.000Z

I went out (Alone, for the first time in ages) today for a cycle. Asides from not drinking enough and giving myself a headache, I got completely minging. My bike frame was covered in spatters of filth (Even though I've got full length mudguards fitted) and took some cleaning once I got home, as did I. I don't think I've ever appreciated a shower so much in my whole life. The poor cycle shoes I was wearing are caked in a combination of water, mud and cow dung (I cycled along little country roads). I'll try to dry them off and then give them a good clean. They deserve it for keeping my feet warm. Euch! It was pretty stinky (Although I don't mean that in terms of actual smell) indeed.

More to the point, I wondered if that means it's now time to get out the winter bike and put my beloved main cycle away for the winter? I suppose I probably should. I had been thinking I could use my main bike until the powers that be started gritting the roads (Which I'm not complaining about as I would rather have grit than ice) but the general wet filth one encounters round this time of year suggests there's more than mere grit to contend with. That being the case, have a pleasant hibernation little bicycle and I hope I find the winter bike to my pleasing.

PunctureRepairKit.co.uk

2006-12-03T19:55:00.000Z

For any of you who read this but don't look at the PunctureRepairKit main site, I thought I would point out I've just bought the web address www.PunctureRepairKit.co.uk. Prior to this, I had been using the address www.PunctureReparKit.tk but there were annoying pop-up adverts with it and, besides, I thought the '.tk' suffix wasn't as good as 'co.uk'.

Please let me point out my choosing 'co.uk' isn't any sort of political statement and doesn't portray anything stupid like that. It was cheaper than '.com', more memorable for the general populous than '.ie' and that's why I used it.

Be sure to have a look at the main site and forward any input about it eg. cycle routes, tea shops, constructive criticism etc. I hope you enjoy it.

Oh bugger!

2006-11-26T20:35:00.000Z

To compound our misery a little, it turns out the bent rim was only one of the problems with our tandem. The pannier rack (As pictured) ain't in great shape either.

As you can see, it has been bent badly enough to actually have a split in it. It's kind of annoying to buy a brand new bike and not be able to use it because some ignorant worker at some point along the line of its getting here has taken absolutely no care over it whatsoever.

There were two black marks on the inside of the box, suggesting it had been damaged since being boxed. Whilst it's possible that could have been someone at Dawes (Between boxing and shipping) or Spa Cycles (I think it was sent to them and they, in turn, sent it on to me) I really don't imagine either of them are to blame (I could be wrong but I doubt it). More likely than not, it was some arsehole in one of the courier companies who didn't give a damn about how one of their packages was treated and knew fine well they had dropped/driven into/kicked etc. something hard enough to damage it. It must have been quite a dunt to flatten part of a rim and bend the pannier rack. It all scares me a bit as I might discover there are other, more subtle, problems with the bicycle as a result of this incident. I hope I don't find anything else wrong with it, especially whilst speeding downhill.

It's all very frustrating and I hope it can all get remedied soon. We've been really dying to try out our tandem and it's annoying having the frame sitting there without being able to use it. Aaaargh!

Woe is me/us!

2006-11-25T12:07:00.000Z

Well, our Galaxy Twin and Horizon arrived yesterday and, as you'll expect, I was exceptionally excited.

I unpacked the Horizon (They were both boxed and required a reasonable amount of assembly) and spent an hour or so assembling it then dragged in the big box containing the Galaxy Twin. I was a bit confused about assembling it as there were bits I wasn't used to having on a bike (There were no instructions either) but I pressed on and, after a couple of hours, had it together. I was exceptionally grateful to Kirby Girl for her patient 'holding the bike up' when I asked, forgiving me for being grumpy and for having bought me a workstand last Christmas.

Imagine my dismay when it turned out the rear wheel had a big dent in it (I know. I should have noticed it much earlier). There was a flat section of rim about two to three inches in length. Alas, this meant we had to return the back wheel to Spa Cycles and are now waiting for a replacement. I was so impatient about getting our tandem and really excited about going out for a cycle on it and now we're going to have to wait for a replacement wheel before we can do anything. It's not like I can just shove a normal wheel in. The tandem has 48 spoke wheels for good reason.

I know I've got a new bike to have a spin on for tomorrow's little jaunt (Weather permitting) but I really wanted our tandem and I feel like a child whose toys have been taken away.

Tandem thoughts

2006-11-22T14:14:00.000Z

We received a phone call from John at Spa Cycles yesterday (Which was very considerate customer service I thought) to tell us our tandem (And my winter bike) will/should arrive with us this Friday coming. It's now Wednesday and it seems as if time has ground to a halt.

It's amazing quite how excited I am by the prospect of a tandem arriving. I don't know quite what I imagine the tandem's impact is going to be upon my life but I guess I'll find out once it arrives. Realistically, it'll probably be a novelty initially and we'll be out on it a reasonable amount because it's something new and we're excited about it but, in the long run, I wonder how it's going to work out. I imagine it'll be good as it shall let us both (Myself and Kirby Girl) cycle together with no waiting around and both of us getting to push ourselves as much as we like. A lot of the success hinges on how considerate I am as a 'Captain' (I'm well into all that tandem terminology I can tell you). If I get up to my usual grumpy complaining, I can forget about tandems in the long run as I'll put Kirby Girl off within the first few journeys. If I'm out of character and act in a considerate manner, it could be the start of something beautiful.

Dawsey, Dawsey

2006-11-19T18:06:00.000Z

Well as you can see from the previous posts, myself and 3Ply are getting a Dawes tandem - I say getting quite deliberately as I am contributing not a penny towards the bike, so thanks go to Mr Stagliano for his generosity. I am looking forward to getting it and it will be lovely to actually be within talking distance of 3Ply for the whole journey - I'm sure it will be quite a relief for 3Ply not to have to wait for me on a regular basis as I struggle along, instead I will be struggling along directly behind him. Of course I am a little nervous about the possibilty of falling over and as a bit of a wuss, the speedy decent aspect causes me a bit of fear, but I think I'll get used to it. It will mean putting a lot of faith in Mr S, but that's no problem as he is a fine and safe cyclist - I'm hoping I can sit back and enjoy the scenery, maybe helping to pedal the odd time, if I feel like it!

Before you say anything 3Ply, the answer is no!!

Taking the plunge

2006-11-18T16:20:00.000Z

Goodness me but that's a cliched post title and photo to go with it. Still, it's good to see someone so happy to be forcing faeces round the U-bend of her lavatory. It could be worse, when I 'googled' the words 'plunging' and 'plunge' (To get a photo) there were various fisting themed images in my results.

As one may imagine, this post isn't about toilets, actual plunging of any kind or indeed fisting. Rather, it's to say we've gone ahead and ordered our (First?) tandem today. We plumped for the Dawes Galaxy Twin, from Spa Cycles, after all. Whilst some had recommended a Landescape tandem, the price difference (Most likely starting off at £1600) was too much for serious consideration. We had to stick to the ceiling price we had decided upon. Otherwise, where would it lead? I mean, there's always a better bike than the one you've got 'just that little bit more expensive', unless you own the best and most expensive bike in the world (For the couple of weeks it has that title). No, Dawes Galaxy Twin it is.

Now we've got some 'falling off when attempting to stop', 'remembering it takes longer to get out of T-junctions' and 'scary fast descending while our brakes smoke' to look forward to. I'm excited about this like a child on Christmas Day. Things all being right and proper, it should reach our front door (Or maybe the side door) near the end of next week.

Sheldon Brown has some interesting and informative articles on tandems. In particular, his guide to starting and stopping a tandem was of interest to me. Come to think of it, is there anything cycle related the man doesn't know? I only pray (Although not really as I'm not religious) his guides will save me from scrapes and potential breakages.

Ooh, I could crush a grape!

2006-11-17T11:30:00.000Z

Much like Stu Francis when he would exclaim about his grape crushing desires, I'm furious beyond the ken of mortal man/insanely irate/angry/slightly peeved/in reality don't really care much but thought I would grump anyway about Thorn bicycle manufacturers.

As you might have noticed me mention dozens of times, we're probably getting a tandem in the near future. As Thorn seems to be quite a big name in the world of tandems (At least as much as someone can be given their limited appeal) I was having a browse through their website and was a bit pissed off with the way they worded their writings.

Now, this isn't so much about Thorn individually as my dislike for certain forms of advertising and general self-promotion. There's a part of their brochure which is entitled 'Who could now seriously choose 700c for tandems?'. Funnily enough, Thorn doesn't make any 700c wheeled tandems and the wording of that title may as well be 'You're nothing but a dickwad if you choose anything other than a 26" wheel tandem'. They also mention about other companies using 'inappropriate' components on their tandems and how 700c tyre side wall failure is 'very common' and 'dangerous' with many 700c wheeled tandems. What the hell does 'very common' mean? That's just scaremongering. To me 'very common' would be 'practically every journey' but it could mean 'one in every couple of hundred tandems experience this' to someone else. What a load of bollocks! I just can't stand companies trying to scare people into buying their products and I also don't like that crap about slagging off other companies. If your company isn't good enough to stand on the merit of its own product(s), you shouldn't be making anything. It really bugs me when a company has to resort to putting down the competition (Even if not directly by name) in order to make sales. I know it's a 'cut-throat business' and all but that's just pathetic.

Nonetheless (Despite all my moaning) I imagine Thorn makes pretty good bikes, even if I reckon there is a bit of 'paying for the name' with them.

The Evil Tread: Dead by Dawes

2006-11-14T19:22:00.000Z

Okay, so it's a contrived and appalling title but I'm apologising to nobody. It is vaguely cycling related as, continuing part of last Wednesday's babbling novel, we're getting that bit closer to getting a tandem now. We're still (Sigh) waiting to hear back about the second-hand tandem we've expressed an interest in and, if we're not getting it, we'll get a Dawes Galaxy Twin from Spa Cycles.

Part of me kind of hopes the 'first refusal' person wants the second-hand tandem as that would make things simple for us and force us into buying the new tandem. I think the second-hand tandem is a six speed triple whereas the Dawes would be a nine speed triple and those extra gears might come in handy when my excess weight, lack of fitness, local hills and tandem uphill toughness all combine. To be honest, I'm not even sure a lowest gear of front 28/32 rear would be low enough for me. I guess (If we get the Dawes) we could try it and change the chainset if we find a 48/38/28 is too big for my puny yet overweight body. Something a couple of teeth down in each chainring might be more suitable for my high cadence and low ability, especially if we're planning to do any touring on it whatsoever.

At the moment, Spa Cycles is selling the Dawes Galaxy Twin for £1015 GBP (Plus £30 GBP, I think, shipping). Whilst I think that's a pretty big load to shell out on a bicycle, it's about £300 GBP or more less than the retail, which most places seem to charge and I'm hopeful we would use a tandem quite a bit. I guess I'll only know if we would use it once we've got one but I think it's a low risk to take. Besides, compared to the price of some tandems, it's chump change. As you may be able to tell, I'm not one for taking risks. Mister Sensible/Bland, that's me.

Spa Cycles might be making a few pounds out of me and my cycling compadres. Asides from the prospective tandem situation, I'm trying to convince my Dad into getting a touring compact double chainset and I'm considering getting a Dawes Horizon for winter usage. Again, they seem the cheapest for it, at £340 GBP (Plus £20 GBP shipping, which I imagine/hope would be covered in the tandem's shipping if I was getting it).

I've heard Dawes 'isn't the company it once was' and such tales from the elder statesmen of cycling but the specs of the two bikes I'm interested in look pretty good for the price and I'm not concerned whether someone in England, Czechoslovakia or the far east make and assemble parts of my proposed bike. Admittedly, there are a some components of the Horizon's I'm not especially enthralled by. For example, the Horizon's Rigida wheel rims don't instill me with huge amounts of confidence. Kirby Girl and I have owned two bicycles with Rigida rims and both of us had problems with spokes breaking. Hopefully it's just been bad luck. We both found the spokes stopped breaking when we had our wheels rebuilt and I know a local man who does good wheelbuilding for a low price. All in all, I think both bikes would fit our needs and I hope to get everything sorted out within the next week or two.

It would be good having the Horizon here so my Dad could use it if he's up for a cycling visit. He's a little shorter than me but I normally cycle on a 54cm frame, he uses a 52cm and the Horizon comes in 53cm so it all works out. Like me, he's a big fan of low gears.

Enough of my thoughts and witters. I'll leave it there. As always, thanks for taking the time to read this. I know it's a bit of a slog to get through. I've you've any worthwhile options for tandems and winter bikes with low gears and good storage, please comment below and let me know.

Big fat lazy swine etc.

2006-11-08T17:42:00.000Z

Again I've been very slack and slovenly when it comes to my writing here but I've also been extremely lazy this year when it comes to my cycling. Having hoped to get somewhere around eight or nine thousand miles on my bike this year and at least five, I've totalled up just under two thousand so far and don't have a single century to my name.

I know it's not a matter of mileage and is rather a matter of fun but I've found it difficult to motivate myself into cycling the way I feel I should be. Maybe that's part of the problem for me, thinking I 'should' be doing anything. Surely I 'should' be cycling as much as I damn well please and not worrying not much.

Something my lack of cycling (and exercise in general) has helped create is an increase in my weight. I've not been particularly skinny or fat for the past few years but I managed to get to a healthy 164 lbs/11 stones 10 lbs/74.4 Kgs last summer and was able to eat pretty much whatever I felt like. I've increased in mass and now exert 177 lbs/12 stones 9 lbs/80.3 Kgs on our bathroom scales. Blasted gravity! Putting on about 13 lbs/5.9 Kgs in weight isn't so good and is something I should really be trying to remedy. It's not like I'm enormous or anything. I'm 5'10"/1.78m and the weight I am isn't absolutely awful but it'll get that way if it continues as it has over the last year. My plan is to keep realistic weight loss goals of a couple of pounds/a kilo every month or two. So long as the weight is gradually going down and not increasing, that would be super. I'm probably a bit less puny than I was when I was 164 lbs/11 stone 10 lbs/74.4 Kgs (I'm starting to wish I hadn't bothered converting my weight between imperial and metric) so something around the 168 lbs/12 stones/76.2 Kgs area would be good. If I can get myself into an exercise routine, keep an eye on my diet (The flapjacks from Holland & Barrett don't help my cause) and let myself have more fun doing something good for me, I reckon I'll be close to my goal around early summer 2007. Wish me luck! Now what can I do for crow's feet and stray eyebrow hairs...

I was having a look at the Routes section of the PunctureRepairKit website and (And this could be said for the website in general) it hasn't been an amazing success. As it stands, there are still only two routes in there and they're both just wee routes I wrote myself. I had hoped it would flourish into a database of sorts filled with routes from all over the globe. So much for that idea. I guess I kind of lost interest in PunctureRepairKit. I wanted to set it up and get some input from other people to keep the information fresh and interesting but that's not happened. That sounds like I'm being bitter but that's not the case at all. It's my own doing for not having enough knowledge to do an impressive website or trying to advertise it properly (I wouldn't know how) and I haven't bothered my lazy bottom updating it in almost a year. Ah well, never mind.

For the first time in ages, I was out for a wee scoot there on Sunday with Kirby Girl and my Dad and, rather annoyingly, I skidded over and fell on my arse. It wasn't really my fault and didn't do much other than scrape the side of my right pedal, rip my bar tape (Which was almost brand new) and scuff the top-back of my right thigh. Thankfully it didn't damage my frame or wheels and my bib tights (Which were getting their first outing) survived without any damage other than getting muddy but it was annoying. I had slowed down to take a right turn into a t-junction and was giving it a wide sweep so I could be safe and, lo and behold, the back wheel of my bike skidded out and I ended up sliding across the road. Upon inspection, the area of the road I had skidded on had a thin layer of oil on the top of it. It's annoying some twat spilled their oil over the road and left it there, even if it was only by neglecting their car to the extent of it leaking oil, but there's no point in my moaning about it. I'm just glad my bike and I were okay and that it was me who skidded on it, rather than either of my cycling partners for the day.

Continuing on this overlong entry (I've a lot of missed time to make up), Kirby Girl and I are thinking of buying a tandem in the near future. We know a guy selling one but someone else has first right of refusal on it. If 'someone else' decides he doesn't want it, we'll be straight in to have a look and most likely get it. It's very exciting for me. I've never even ridden a tandem before. That conjurs up thoughts like 'What the hell do you think you're doing buying one if you've never ridden one before?' but I'll not let logic stop me and am determined to purchase a tandem of some description. I'm not going to spend huge amounts of money on the likes of a Santana titanium bike (I had no idea Carlos was a cyclist) at over £8000 GBP. At most I reckon something like a Dawes Galaxy Twin could be an option but, even then, I would rather pay considerably less if possible. It's that conundrum of whether you spend a fairly large amount of money on a bike you may not like or buy something cheap to start with. The problems with the latter option are the cheap version might not be as enjoyable and you might find you don't enjoy it primarily because you're using low quality equipment or you find you love it and want a better tandem, having already spent a few hundred pounds on the cheap one. Obviously the problem with a more expensive tandem would be buying it and finding we don't like using a tandem. I reckon we're pretty likely to enjoy using a tandem and it's a worthwhile risk. Even if Kirby Girl wasn't so into it, I think my Dad would be happy to 'stoke' (I'm reserving the 'Captain' role as I'm selfish and inconsiderate) when he's up and that would mean it should get a reasonable amount of usage. Hopefully we'll be able to kind of do both (Getting a decent tandem for cheap) if 'someone else' decides against buying the second-hand tandem I mentioned earlier. I've not seen the tandem but the guy selling it is part owner of a bike shop and, from my dealings with him in the past, I wouldn't imagine him owning anything substandard. Whilst wittering about tandems (tandi?), I should give the (Out of my price range) Hase Pino a mention. It's an odd looking beast of a tandem but seems like a really good idea. I've never ridden a recumbent either and it's quite an attractive proposition, although the £2000+ GBP price tag (For the most basic model) puts me off rather a lot. Something which worries me a bit about a tandem is my own lack of fitness and that whole 'tandems are crap uphill' thing. It can be tough enough for me to get uphill on my own bike at times (Which has a front:30/29:rear lowest gear, although I very rarely drop below 30/23 or 30/26 as my lowest gear makes a funny 'poinging' noise when I'm in it) so I'm worried I'll be totally useless on a tandem. I was having a read at Sheldon Brown's information on tandems and it's good stuff. I'm sure some of it will come in useful when/if we get a tandem. I'm all excited at the thought of getting one now I've been wittering on about it so very much.

The only other bicycle related thing I've to write about is my getting a 'winter bike'. I don't want the componentry on my beloved bicycle to get all screwed up over the winter, so getting something else to ride then could be a good idea. I had been using my Peugeot but Kirby Girl needs a bike for winter too, the frame on the Peugeot is a bit small for me and would suit her better and I'm greedy and would like another bike. It'll need to be something I can put mudguards on (And not RaceBlade type mudguards as they're not so good) and I would much prefer being able to stick my rack pack on it (As opposed to not being able to) too. I need somewhere to keep my camera, muffins and sandwiches so 'no pannier rack' is not an option. I shall have to investigate further. I was thinking of something along the lines of a Fuji Ace (If they're still made) but may get something different as Kirby Girl already has a Fuji Ace and there's something a bit keen about two people having exactly the same bike, just like we already do with our audax type bikes. Oh dear!

Well, that's me pretty much caught up. Sorry to keep you so long and thanks very much for taking the time to read this. All the best everyone/anyone.

Apple log eyes

2006-09-08T22:26:00.000+01:00

Sorry about not having written anything here for so very long. I dunno if anyone ever checks it anyway but I should write more often.

This year has been a real off year so far in terms of cycling. I've hardly been out at all and have been very lazy (with the gut to show for it). I should get my ass out on the saddle, get cycling and stop being such a damned slacker. Of late, I've been spending my internet time on attempting to do a musical effort type bit thing but it's a source of frustration. If I was motivated enough to get out on my bike, it would probably help relieve such frustrations and make my life better generally.

In part, I've been a bit scared off cycling. There have been so many near misses and, more to the point, me losing my temper as a result. The other week someone came at me with an iron bar because I shouted at him after he nearly knocked me off my bike and it scared the bejayzus out of me. The same day, I got completely covered in yoghurt some little shites threw over me out of their car window (That was before the iron bar incident and probably helped create the anger in me which caused me to shout at the driver who nearly knocked me down).

I'm more than a bit sick of drivers treating me as scum when I'm out cycling and their endangering my life for no reason other than to get stopped at traffic lights a second or two earlier than they otherwise would have. I'm not unrealistic. I know the majority of motorists don't do this sort of thing but probably a hundred or more cars pass me, on average, when I'm out on my bike (I've never counted to be sure) and almost without fail there will be at least one incident during each journey where someone drives in a really dangerous manner and I have to react to stop myself getting knocked off/injured/killed. Much as I love cycling, I'm just not in love with the thought of getting hurt because of it. It scares me more now than it used to and that's a slippery slope I'm finding difficult to deal with.

Holy crap!

2006-03-31T17:52:00.001+01:00

Blimey! This story surprised me. I didn't think there was a road in the world which pro cyclists would have to walk on, never mind the weather conditions. However, when you read on about the cobbles, mud etc. it's a pretty good explanation of why.

I've climbed up a very short 25% hill in dry weather a few times but trying to go up a cobbled muddy road for a little over half a kilometre is another ask altogether. Even going up the skittery little 25% hill I've been on, I've been gasping afterwards (although a lot of people probably wouldn't have this problem).

I wonder if it's not so much the cyclists aren't fit and strong enough to get up the hill as the cobbles are so slippy it makes attempting to control their bikes too difficult? I guess that's probably the case. There seems to be no limit to the endurance of pro cyclists. I remain totally in awe of their fitness.

New bike photo

2006-03-29T20:46:00.000+01:00

As promised, here's the photo of Kirby Girl's new bike. Isn't it a lovely machine? Well, I think so anyway. A bit too lovely for my liking. I'll have to accidentally spill paint on it so it stops looking better than my bike does.

It'll have a silver TorTec Ultralite pannier rack on the back within the next couple of days but that's the only aesthetic difference to be made from the picture on the left.

Damn! It does look better than my bike but don't tell anyone. Oh, if you're interested (although goodness only knows why) it's Kingfisher Blue and Pearlescent White.

New bike new bike new bike new bike

2006-03-27T17:51:00.000+01:00

Hurrah! Kirby Girl got her new bike today and bollocks, it maybe is a bit better looking than mine (grrrr). When it's better weather (but before it gets filthy) I'll take some photos of it and post them here. It's a lovely looking machine and will be a good means for me to blackmail Kirby Girl out on her bike with me. I find getting it for her so exciting I could soil myself.

Up yours! You inconsiderate bastards!

2006-03-08T12:54:00.000Z

Okay okay, this has even less to do with cycling than the Sheryl Crow post a couple of posts down but it's got to do with transport and that's just about close enough for me at the moment.

Forgive the The Sun or News of the World type headline please. Whilst we were out shopping at a branch of a large chain of supermarkets (aka Tesco), I noticed someone swearing and getting very frustrated with a sticker stuck to her car's driver side window. Initially I thought 'Jeez, that's a pretty crappy thing for someone to do as a prank' until I realised she was parked in a disabled parking only space and didn't have the appropriate badge permitting her to do so. Upon further investigation, plenty of cars were in the same boat, with stickers on their windows telling them it was a parking spot reserved for disabled badge holders (or something along those lines but not badger holders) only.

Whilst I'm sure this is something commonplace in countries slightly less stunted in their evolution than Ireland, I was delighted to see some deterrent being implemented for the shits who choose to park in disabled only parking spaces simply because they're too lazy to walk an extra ten metres to and from the shop they're frequenting.

Without getting onto too much of a rant about it, you wonder why such lazy people really need to be bringing their cars everywhere in the first place, never mind parking in spaces allocated for people who require them, as opposed to finding them 'a bit handier'.

Nearer ever nearer

2006-03-03T17:19:00.000Z

I continue to be excited about Kirby Girl's forthcoming bike and the emotional blackmail it will (hopefully) let me get away with. I've been working along the lines of 'I thought you liked your bike. How come you won't come out cycling with me today?', 'I could have used the money I spent on your bike for [insert appropriate lie]' etc. Don't worry, it's only the start. I'm sure I'll come up with something better to try to force her out cycling against her will on a regular basis.

News is (and I use the word 'news' loosely as Kirby Girl and I are the only people who care) the bike is sitting almost complete but for the wheels (we would already have it had there not been a minor wheel mix up). Apparently they're to be in early next week and then her beautiful new bicycle will be ready for the road. I think I may be more excited than she is about it. I hope she likes it.

Kirby Girl's bike update

2006-02-25T18:24:00.000Z

Huzzah again! It seems Kirby Girl's bike is going to be ready for collection next week (Thursday the 2nd at the latest, I've been told). Now all I have to do is be able to pay for it. How much do you get for eight pints of blood nowadays?

Sheryl Crow's cancer operation

2006-02-25T18:05:00.000Z

I know she's not really as related to cycling as we was about a month ago, since her split with Lance Armstrong, but I'm mentioning Sheryl Crow as I can't help but feel bad for her and the rotten time of it she's been having lately.

After her engagement breaking down, she's now had to have a breast cancer operation. It seems (if I'm reading this correctly) they've caught things pretty early on and the signs are good but it mustn't be the most fun she's ever had in her life.

I know plenty of people suffer in plenty of ways without my writing about them but this is vaguely cycling related and I thought I would write about it.

Woohoo! I'm excited!

2006-02-22T11:56:00.000Z

I phoned the shop we're getting Kirby Girl's bicycle from just there and they've got the frame in. All that's left for them to do is check the specifications and assemble it. I'm really excited and can't wait to see it in the 'flesh' (or Reynolds 631 steel as is more truthful).

As I mentioned before, it's going to be almost identical to my own bike (same frame and groupset) only different colours, a different saddle and those Salsa brake levers she loves (well, she loves the Tektro ones she's got on another bike so it's pretty likely she'll love the Salsa levers too).

Hopefully we'll be able to pick the bike up sometime in the next couple of weeks. As stated before, I'm really excited about it. Oh gawd! I hope it doesn't look better than my bike. Actually, I kind of hope it does. I want it to be as desirable as possible so Kirby Girl is motivated into plenty of cycling and I can get my way ie. she'll come out cycling loads with me.

Splittsburgh Sheryl Cycle Shocker!

2006-02-06T19:12:00.000Z

I see Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow have called off their wedding plans and split up. I'm really only writing this for the sake of a new post but have you noticed how much Sheryl Crow looks like Lance Armstrong's ex-wife? He definitely seems to have a type he likes. I wonder if he'll go for someone younger and in a similar vein in the future? Creepily enough, his mother also has that look (although a bit older than the women he's dated or married).

I'm not dead and here's proof

2006-01-14T19:51:00.000Z

As I'm absolutely wonderful and generous to a fault, I'm buying er indoors a new bicycle. Well, we've ordered one and it should be ready for her within a couple of months.

Secretly, this isn't generosity on my part at all but rather a cunning (and soon to be very annoying for Kirby Girl) ploy so I can emotionally blackmail my beloved to come out cycling with me. I'm sure there will be plenty of 'What was the point in my buying you a bike if you're not going to use it?' and variations on that general theme. If you can think of some good ones, please let me know.

Kirby Girl's bike to be is almost identical to my own only with a different saddle, frame colours and the addition of those Salsa cyclocross brake levers. Not that I'm biased having an almost identical bike myself, but it'll be lovely. It's just as well we didn't go for the same frame colour. That would have been a bit creepy looking when we're out together.

Well, that's my cycling news for the moment. Now to get back to sitting on my ever fattening arse and complaining about the weather whilst using it as cover for my laziness.

VeloNews' gallery

2005-12-05T14:45:00.000Z

I was having my usual look through VeloNews and decided to peruse their 'photo contest' section.

Being one who gets great pleasure from looking at bicycles, it's hardly surprising I found a couple of photographs there to please me.

Although I do enjoy looking at pictures of racing (primarily the 80's ones, even though I had absolutely no interest in cycle racing then) , I'm more attracted to the likes of odd or ropey looking bicycles in foreign lands. Well, to be pedantic, I don't think a single photo was from Ireland or the UK, so they were all foreign to me. Anyway, I thought I would post these couple of photos for you to have a quick scan of for yourselves. If you left-click on the photo, it'll take you to the proper, full size version on VeloNews itself.

I thought the load being carried in each picture was exceptional. In particular, the photo on the left impressed me. To think I, at times, grumble inwardly about the weight in my rack pack. What a wuss I am.

Shame on me

2005-12-01T19:35:00.000Z

This is a terrible admission but I was driving home on Tuesday (that isn't the admission) and noticed something which wasn't terribly pleasing. Whilst driving a car, I discovered other motorists really annoyed me and I started to get that 'them against me' feeling. What it made me think of is how easy it is to slip into this annoyed and completely illogical state whilst driving. Obviously I don't know if that's the case with everybody but I was disappointed to discover it reared its ugly head with me.

Asides from even the realisation about myself, it made me wonder whether that's what's at the root of all the animosity between motorists and cyclists. Maybe lots of people suffer from this stupid senseless affliction. Perhaps, for people who don't cycle, it becomes even stronger because someone on a bicycle is even more of a 'them' than another motorist is? Well, that's a theory I'm curious about anyway but I'll not be surprised to find out it's a load of poop.

A little bit of babble

2005-12-01T19:00:00.000Z

Before I go on (and I will), I know it's a cliche for anyone with a cycling rant to mention Jeremy Clarkson and so I apologise in advance.

Believe it or not, I'm not going to claim he is 100% evil and the like. Rather, I'm merely going to witter about his appearance on This Morning this morning (aptly enough).

Fern Britton (you would think my life revolves round This Morning to read the recent entries on this) asked Jeremy Clarkson about his supposed hatred for cyclists (this is something I'm sure you'll be able to find out about online easily) and he said it isn't a problem with cyclists or cycling but rather a specific sort of cyclist. He referred to the type of cyclist as (and I've heard this cliched term before and know some find it especially offensive) 'cycle Nazis'. I don't think he was really comparing them to actual Nazis but rather was attempting to be amusing in some manner. Anyway, he said the type of cyclist he has a problem with are those who wear lycra and get annoyed about cars driving near them. That would probably include me then. I wear lycra whilst cycling (although I don't have the pert buttocks they discussed briefly) and ain't too keen on cars whizzing past me within arm's reach. Then again, Jeremy Clarkson didn't get to elaborate fully and may have thought it wrong for motorists to pass cyclists quite so closely.

The vague reason behind my writing this is that Fern Britton mentioned to Jeremy Clarkson about how cyclists get parped at by motorists (and that's one of the lesser 'interactions' cyclists suffer) and he didn't seem to realise such things happen at all. I just wonder how someone can be so public in his or her opinions when s/he has such an obvious lack of knowledge on the subject s/he is talking or writing about. I'm sure it's not an isolated incident and I'm not saying Jeremy Clarkson is the only person who does this. However, the odd fool will listen to people like this and put a lot of stock in their opinions. That's not entirely the fault of people such as Jeremy Clarkson but, that written, it's fairly inconsiderate and irresponsible of them to spout off the way they do about subjects they've no knowledge on.

Aw poop!

2005-11-18T18:27:00.000Z

Today I was out for a little cycle with Gorsebank (aka my Dad) and was a little dismayed to see it's got to the point where there is salt on the roads and my bike comes back filthy after a cycle. Actually, I was out on Wednesday too and my bike looked like it had been taken off-road when I got it home.

This all means I'll have to get using my winter (or 'hack' as some twerps seem to call them) bike on the roads again.

Since I got my new bike, I've not been on any other bike whatsoever. It'll be like two-timing my bike to use another one. Oh dear...

Sorry Internet Explorer users

2005-11-03T13:52:00.000Z

I use Mozilla Firefox as my nerdy internet browser and Ranting Cycle Bores shows up in the correct format with it. Today, however, I had a look at it using Internet Explorer (I'm not sure what version I've got now) and the format is all wrong and a bit stupid looking.

Although you get the nice pink and white scrollbar (or you should anyway) with Internet Explorer, the links (in the section on the right of the page) are offset in a horrible manner. You need to scroll all the way down the posts before you even come to the links. In case you didn't know, they're supposed to be level at the top in the style of a 'normal' webpage.

Not being a technical type, I've no idea how to fix this anomaly. If anyone could help, it would be greatly appreciated.

Just to check, does this happen to everyone viewing this with Internet Explorer or is it just our crappy PC (I hope it is)?

Fern Britton cycling? Crikey!

2005-11-03T13:12:00.000Z

Whilst avoiding the afternoon rain, I found myself watching the popular UK daytime television program This Morning. Strangely there was something I found of interest on it and, stranger still, it was related to Fern Britton.

She seems to be taking part in one of those all-female charity cycles along the banks of the river Nile and this week This Morning was showing a series of little snippets of her training over the past six months. Just to explain that, they were showing the snippets this week and the training had occurred over the past six months. Now I've got things straight, I shall continue.

The main reason I thought it worth a mention is that it's good to see people mentioning cycling on very much mainstream television. However, I guess that depends in what 'light' it is mentioned.

It would be very easy to criticise the coverage and say 'She didn't promote how safe cycling is compared to its general perception' or 'She could have mentioned about how much fitter it has made her or the psychological benefits' but I've not seen all the snippets and, even if I had, who the hell am I to judge and comment? It's not as if her job is to promote the benefits of cycling. If Fern Britton tries cycling and finds hills tough going and gets a bit of pain from it, isn't it only fair she mentions this?

When I started cycling again, only a few years ago, I avoided hills completely, thought they were completely beyond me and was of the opinion I would never be able to climb them. Now those self same hills are enjoyable parts of my cycling. Still, it's important for me to remember it took some time for my perception to change and enjoy my cycling evolution. Sorry, I'm off on a bit of a tangent. I'll start a new paragraph and try to get back on track.

Now where was I? Oh yes, Fern Britton's cycling. Before I get away from the subject again, I should put a few relevant links down here:

Something I did think came across in the couple of minutes airing of the little pieces (okay, I admit I saw both yesterday's and today's) was that Fern Britton seemed to be enjoying herself and how someone who isn't particularly athletic or young (I don't mean that as an insult, more that she's not an Olympian) can still cycle a reasonable distance (250 miles in five days). Hopefully it will have that 'If she can do that, then I could easily use my bike to go a couple of miles into town instead of using the car' effect on some people. Even if only a few people are coaxed into using their bicycles or it makes someone think before shouting abuse or throwing things at cyclists, it's good.

Just as an asides, I noticed she was wearing Gore and Assos cycling clothing. I don't know what model it is but you can bet the Trek she's riding wasn't cheap either. The shop she went to get kitted out at must have 'stuck the arm in' a bit. Still, I imagine the combined funding of Fern Britton and ITV could afford it without having to cut back on too much.

Here's hoping seeing someone very normal on bike inspires others to get out of the habit of taking the car everywhere and do some cycling for themselves.

Enough of this. I better get off before I miss Loose Women. They might have Jeremy Beadle cycling the Great Wall of China.

Thor's hammer

2005-11-01T00:04:00.000Z

In a similar vein to my earlier post about Regina Schleicher, I was having a look on VeloNews today and thought you could see more of Thor Hushovd than may have been intended. I guess the tight fitting clothing worn by cyclists leaves very little to the imagination. It may be that Thor's a lucky man, maybe he's excited to win the stage pictured or maybe I'm simply jealous (I blame it on the cold weather round here and , um, the saddle).

For me, it's not a pretty sight (I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder, although 'eye' might have been a bad word to use) but it's only fair to post this given my Regina Schleicher post.

Now everything is evened up in a 'male to female genital showing ratio', I think that's just about enough of such subjects.

Oh, and Thor Hushovd is racing in Australia in the 2006 Jacob's Creek Tour Down Under, if you're interested. Have a look here if you like.

Goodbye cruel world (or the cold wet part of it anyway)

2005-10-31T13:38:00.000Z

Right, I've just about had enough. Here I am, sitting in whilst we've got practically galeforce winds and torrential rain outside and the more it goes on the more frustrated I get.

It may mean bank robbery, mugging old ladies and selling my family's possessions on eBay (as has now become a worldwide cliche) but I'm sick of it and have reached the end of my tether.

I've put on about half a stone (I haven't a clue what that is in metric terms) of weight in the past month or so, have got more stressed and irritable than I remember being for a long time, am devoid of energy, can't sleep properly and generally feel very bloated and unfit (my clothes aren't as comfy as they were). Just to point out, it's not that I was ever fit but I was certainly a lot better than I am now. Aaaaargh!

I've had a think about my situation and my masterplan is to buy houses in Italy and Australia. I'll live in Italy during the months of May to September and fly over to Australia to spend the rest of the year there. This would be an absolutely brilliant plan if:

I had any money
I could speak Italian

Well, it's good to dream...

A good week for O'Grady

2005-10-28T15:42:00.000+01:00

Following his (I'm making an assumption here) presumed joy after learning of Robbie McEwen's slapping, it seems Stuart O'Grady has greater cause to celebrate, with a new contract and, therefore, team. I just copied this article verbatim from VeloNews and you can see the original here (if you scroll down the page a bit):

O'Grady joins CSC
CSC announced Thursday that the team has signed Australian Stuart O' Grady to a one-year.

O'Grady, 32, is currently wrapping up a contract with Cofidis and had been expected to join former Fassa Bortolo director Giancarlo Ferretti' new Sony-Ericsson squad. O'Grady and a dozen other riders were left without contracts, however, when the Sony deal collapsed.

"It is a big addition for the squad," said CSC manager Bjarne Riis, who characterized O'Grady as a "fantastic rider."

Riis noted that "the contract did not take all that long to work out. He's a talented rider and we're happy to have a rider of his caliber on CSC."

O'Grady turned professional in 1995 and spent the bulk of his career at French outfit Crédit Agricole. He left for Cofidis when it became clear that Norwegian Thor Hushovd's presence meant the team had too many sprinters.

He has won two stages of the Tour de France and has also finished in the top-three in several prestigious one-day classics, winning his first at Hamburg last year, only a few months after he placed second in the Milan-San Remo. O'Grady also earned an Olympic gold medal in the Madison at the Athens Games in 2004.

I'm sure he's pleased and very relieved to get into a team and a strong team at that. I suppose the only problem in being a member of such a strong team is he'll not be their focus in big races and, as a result, it might be difficult for him to challenge for the points jerseys in the grand tours. Still, it seems like a good fit and should work out pretty well for him. Also, I know nothing about cycling and they might be able to support his quest for the likes of points jerseys very well. Even if that is the case, they'll still not be able to do much about his hairline other than give him a team cap.

Gearing

2005-10-25T18:42:00.000+01:00

What did the nerdy cycling fraternity do before the age of the internet and Sheldon Brown's website? I don't believe cycling existed before him. Is there anything related to cycling the man doesn't know?

Today I've been wasting away my (torrential downpour and galeforce winds, non-cycling) day looking at Sheldon Brown's gear calculator. Revealing my extreme geekiness, I find it really interesting to look and see what different speeds I would be doing in various gears whilst riding at my usual, overly high, 100 RPM (probably more like 105 RPM in reality) cadence. I might just be someone with too much spare time on his hands but by jove I could easily obsess about the gearing calculations if I let myself.

Admittedly, some of it doesn't make a lot of sense to me. Once Sheldon Brown starts to write about crank lengths and gain ratios, I get a little lost. I think, in truth, I'm too lazy to want to understand it and would rather simply see what numbers come out at the end of the calculator without having to do the maths for myself. Either that or I'm a bit thick (which isn't unlikely either).

Getting back to the main crux of things, it was interesting to see at what points our gears start to 'cross over' and quite pointless it is yanking your chain (that's not a euphemism for anything) across opposing cogs. Oh how it sends unpleasant shivers through me to see someone with his/her chain on the big chainwheel and the lowest gear. It's as much as I can do not to let out a girly shriek when I see such things.

All the results from the gear calculator seemed to be pretty much what I had found to be the case whilst cycling. The speeds shown agreed with my cycle computer, more or less. I imagine there are variables we encounter whilst cycling in the real world which make slight differences to our pace but I'm impressed by the gear calculator and recommend it to anyone who is a bit geeky too.